Insight into the Downfall of Mankind
by TheWalk
Summary: So what if the wizarding race was dead and only teenagers and the elderly were left, so what if there were no able people left to run the Ministry. So what! Hermione would still never procreate with Draco Malfoy. Even if it was for the good of the race.
1. Nietzsche

**Insight into the Downfall of Mankind**

**Chapter One: Nietzsche **

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Harry Potter.

* * *

She gently laid aside her fork and picked up the letter placed next to her goblet. Hermione looked to Harry and then to Ron who was already anxiously attempting to edge his open. The more he would pry open at the flap, the stronger it would reseal, "Ouch" he grumbled as he received a paper cut from the aggravated letter.

Hermione had a horrible gut feeling about this. Something vile and sour bubbled in the pit of her stomach. She knew what this was, or rather; she had a pretty good suspicion. Her strong courage, her brave front against the trials of life was dwindling over this silly little paper.

Dumbledore cleared his throat and all of the students looked up expectantly. Those without letters eagerly looking over their neighbors shoulders. "You may open these letters in exactly…five, four…" Dumbledore's face was blank; there was nothing there to bounce off of. But a blank face meant there were emotions to hide…

The war had raged heavily for a full year. The casualties to the wizarding world had been immense. Many had died on both sides and the wizarding population in Britain had dwindled. Of Hermione's sixth year class, there was nobody left. She, Harry, Ron, Neville, Luna, Ginny and Lavender were all that was left of her Gryffindor year. And only scatters of the other houses. They had all returned after to war in an attempt to salvage their educations. The younger generations had faired reasonably well, but a quarter of first to sixths years were missing or dead.

Of the older generation, the twenty to forty aged, there was almost no one. Mr. and Mrs. Weasley had both perished. Lupin and Tonks, Snape, Kingsley, Charlie, Bill, Fred, Diggle, Hopkins, the Bones…all gone, even Percy had not made it through with all of his Ministry connections. George was left to look over the remained of the family. Only Ginny now, since Ron was of age.

Hermione's own parents had also been casualties of the war, but had managed to pull through. Extensive injuries and all. But she was not special, so many people had perished and lost health that the wizarding world in Britain was basically being run by children. And would be so for many a few years until their generation began having children. Many people had paid dearly for the freedom future generations would have. Sometimes she asked herself how she had survived, and what she had done to deserve life when others had not. Why had so many of her friends died only to allow her to sit here?

Hermione turned her envelope over in her hands. It was large and manila, sealed with the Ministry of Magic's seal. Dumbledore had told them there would be a new law implemented following the end of the war. And here they were, almost a year after Voldemort's death, nearly finished with their study at Hogwarts and were just receiving official news of this. There had been many ludicrous rumors circulating about. The Ministry would hand out money or property, people would be whacked,win jobs…and so the list went on. But there was only one law possible at a time like this. Well, that was untrue. It could always have been a stricter enforcing law, or a security measure. Right?

It appeared she alone had given the law thought; others seemed genuinely unaware, or rather uninterested. Hermione decided to stop cranking the gears in her brain and just allow this to come to her naturally. There was nothing to do. Every student in the sixth, seventh and miniscule eighth year had this letter. Another tick to her suspicion list.

"Hermione, aren't you going to open yours?" Harry asked as he began tearing at his envelope.

"Yeah" she replied quietly as she tore off the seal. "I already have a good idea of what awaits for me here…" she muttered sadly.

_Miss Hermione Granger_

_The Ministry of Magic:_

_Calls upon decree number 176 under the institutional emergency act, in the specifics of the Law of Magic, for life threatening situations to wizard kind. _

_In section 13 appendix E the law clearly states that when wizarding population in Britain falls underneath 500 childbearing able wizards and witches the ministry is approved to execute arranged marriages in order to successfully save the race. _

_Everyone between the ages of sixteen and thirty is eligible. Age, health and blood line will all be taken into calculation in the process of choosing life partners. There are no redoes or changes to Ministry policy. Once your mate has been chosen it is required of the participants to go forth in marriage and procreation. _

_Underneath is the date of your meeting that you will be required to attend. In this meeting you will meet your life mate and settle estates and boundaries. Your meeting will be overseen by a member of the ministry and your engagement will become legally binding by the end of the meeting. You will have exactly two months after the date of appointment to marry. _

_Please prepare to bring a witness to sign forms. _

_Sincerely,_

_Oliver Keaton _

_Of the Marriage Law and Contract Law Department in the Ministry of Magic_

Hermione looked up from her letter to see a stunned crowd sitting about her. Harry looked about ready to throw up. Ron was shaking his head and rereading the letter. Hermione looked to Dumbledore, waiting for the 'surprise!' He looked back solemnly.

_Life mate_? What a depressing term to use. "No, they shouldn't be allowed to do this" she whispered to herself. No matter how well she had prepared herself for this possibility, there was always that small hope that countered. And now, after reading the official document Hermione felt as though her world was crumbling. All of the restrained fears and doubts and anger came crashing down upon her in waves. For the first time in her life, she regretted being right.

"Apparently they can" Harry replied sourly "And they will" he threw his letter down. His face was growing increasingly whiter.

"But…how…vile. How…inhumane!" Hermione said in outrage, trying to draw a greater reaction from her friends. Her hands were shaking and her teeth rattling.

"What if I have to marry someone ugly" Ron groaned.

"RONALD! How can you think about something as vain as that? They are forcing you to marry against your will! Does this not bother you? Are you not angry?" Hermione asked throwing her letter down. It landed right onto her plate of eggs.

"Not really, I'm familiar to the concept of arranged marriages; it's just usually you get to see who you're supposed to marry before it gets set. This…this is not good. What if I don't like her? I'll have to live with her forever. What if my mother doesn't like her! Then we'll have a real problem" he groaned again placing his head in his hands.

"You're really missing the big point here Ron" Harry chuckled sadly.

"Can it Harry, you'll end up with Ginny. We all know it. Nobody would want to upset our savior. You'll get who you want and Hermione and I will be stuck with weirdoes" Ron raged on, he began to tear his letter.

Hermione pulled it out of his hands "Ronald, don't do that! Your date is on here. And besides, you're doing this for your country and race, no matter how bad it is" she said sourly, she hardly believed her own words. The greater good was not her good.

"It might not be so bad" Harry offered lamely.

"This is just so unwarranted!" Hermione cried mending Ron's letter and handing it back to him "When I'm Minister of Magic I'll-"

"Yes, yes, we all know Granger. You'll free all of the house elves and make them charge for their services. You'll have tea with the giants…sorry Weasley, I didn't mean to speak of you as though you weren't present" Malfoy smirked as he walked behind them.

"Oh please, go die" Hermione frowned. She was in no mood to deal with him now.

"That's not a nice way to speak to me" he said in mock hurt, his hand on his heart "I helped your cause".

"By hiding in a hole" Hermione muttered under her breath.

"Yes, well, it's not very nice of you to force your ugly face upon us" Harry replied coolly.

"What do you want ferret?" Ron asked, his fingers twitching for his wand.

"I'm merely going about and checking interview dates with people. Trying to figure out what troll I'll have to get hitched with" he replied smartly flashing his paper in front of Ron's face. "It's called being prepared Weasley, I know it's something you are not used to" he said with a sneer.

Hermione flipped him off.

He blew her a kiss and walked away.

"Ooh I'd love for him to get stuck with Bullstrode, or Parkinson, he'd deserve it!" Hermione seethed "They would drive him out of sanity and home!"

"I think we'd all like to see that" Harry admitted "As funny as it would be… it won't really make me feel better about this in the larger sense" Harry sighed folding his letter.

"It's all right…we'll survive…" Hermione said slowly, "just interpret tragedy as an affirmation of life… interpret tragedy as an affirmation of life… interpret tragedy as an affirmation of life…" she mumbled quietly, trying to calm herself.

Ron and Harry exchanged an exasperated look.

"So…when is your meeting Hermione?" Ron asked picking her soggy letter out of her eggs.

* * *

The next morning Hermione stood awkwardly outside a large oak door with Harry at her side. They were next in line for the meeting. So far Hermione's fiancé was nowhere to be seen and she was shitting herself restless. Couples had walked out before them, some seemed amiable, and others walked a meter apart, one pair were escorted out by aurors at wandpoint, how embarrassing.

"Harry, I knew it was soon…but I didn't realize it would be the next morning" Hermione cried as she placed her hands over her face. She was slowly unraveling, her cool calm demeanor fading fast. Even though she had seen it coming, even though she knew it was a possibility, Hermione had barely prepared herself mentally for this. She kept telling herself that it was unlikely the marriage law would be put into effect, it was not reasonable, there was now way. And now that it was here, Hermione felt as confused as the rest.

"Buck up" Harry said pulling her hands down "Mine is tomorrow morning".

"They didn't even let us prepare mentally for this!" she cried becoming restless "I can't wrap my head around this. Do you know that in forty-five minutes I'll walk out of that room engaged, and in two months I'll be married?"

"You'll be a beautiful bride, despite whoever your fiancé is, and Ron and I will walk you down the aisle. We'll drop in on you everyday once you leave Hogwarts and we'll be there for you Hermione, good or bad. You'll be fine. I know you will" Harry promised placing his sturdy hands on her shoulders.

Hermione nodded and wiped her wet faced. She straightened her skirt and blouse and looked at her watch. Three minuets. "You are very right Harry; very right…It's just life. Tragedy is an affirmation of life" she said breathing deeply.

Harry frowned at her, "That's a depressing thought to keep repeating" he said.

"True though, people hated Nietzsche, only because he was right" Hermione replied as she smoothed her skirt down the palms of her hands.

"Come in" said the secretary opening the door.

Harry and Hermione stepped into a huge room with twenty five doors all about it and large desk in the middle. People were entering and exiting the doors with rapid speed. "Number thirteen" the secretary said pulling her quill out from behind her ear and writing on her clipboard. She pointed to the door.

"Well that's ominous" Hermione muttered as they walked to the door.

Harry opened it first and looked inside. "There's no one here, come on in" he said opening the door wider for Hermione. She stepped in nervously. There were four chairs facing one desk. Hermione and Harry took the two chairs on the left. There was a large black skid mark on the wall behind the desk. It looked like a missed curse. Hermione suddenly felt even worse.

"I bet Malfoy's in for a big surprise during his meeting. Probably ran into three girls with the same meeting time as him" Hermione chuckled nervously trying to keep a straight head.

Harry nodded, but he seemed to still be staring at the random holes and burn marks about the room. "It looks like a room for difficult couples or something. I can see them coming in and restraining you with a straightjacket once you meet your fiancé" he joked.

"Harry…not funny. What if I got stuck with…I don't know, Flint! You just might see me being escorted out with aurors. Would you be laughing then?" she asked curtly.

"No, if you get stuck with someone horrid, I'll do all I can to pull you out of it" Harry promised.

"Thanks Harry" Hermione sighed. She slid down into her chair and fell into an uneasy silence, fears and doubts raging through her head.

Hermione had her _Law of Magic_ memorized to a song. After seeing the population drop, she knew the ministry would be sure to implement the law. Was it right? Yes, under the circumstances it was the only way to keep the British wizards alive, she would have done if she were Minister. But humanely, it was wrong. Hermione was of age, she was over age, for her it wasn't quite as traumatic, even though she was in shock. But for the sixteen year olds? What did they know? And what if a sixteen year old got stuck with a thirty year old? What if Hermione got stuck with someone older than her? No…they said age was a consideration. At least she had that under control.

It was just the way things would go, and maybe Hermione would get lucky and be placed with someone she knew. Or at least someone she could get along with, maybe a Ravenclaw or somebody already in secondary school.

There was no opportunity for love here, but maybe friendship would be nice. It was all she could ask for. Since her life was going to be arranged for her, if it could not be love and passion, could it be tea and small talk? Her fingers tapped in trepidation on her knees and she stared at the desk clock. Come on…it was exactly eight…

The door opened and Hermione jumped out of her chair. She turned to see who it was. But it was not her fiancé. A flustered woman ran into the door with many papers in her hands. She dropped her bag onto the table and began to leaf through the papers without acknowledging either Hermione or Harry. Her clothing was twisted, her brown hair falling out of her bun; it must have been a bad morning. "I always get stuck with number thirteen…" she mumbled under her breath.

Harry and Hermione exchanged startled looks.

Finally she looked up, her lips went slack and her mouth hung open. "Where's the other one?" she asked with disdain. Hermione and Harry shrugged. "No matter, perhaps he's late. I'm Nancy, I'll be doing the paperwork and overseeing the bond…but it might be difficult to do without…Ah there you are Mr. Malfoy, with your witness too!" Nancy said in relief.

Hermione stopped breathing, she…misheard…not possible…

Harry's neck twisted back and his mouth was agape "Malfoy…" he said in disgust "Zabini?"

"Potter?" Draco asked with a grimace. But if Potter was here…his eyes then landed on a familiar bushy head…no, lord, anyone but. He didn't believe in any muggle god, but he was sure as hell praying to one now.

"Oh shit! You have to marry Granger!" Blaise Zabini cried out clutching his sides.

A storm rolled over the room.


	2. Consequences

**Chapter Two: Consequences**

**Disclaimer**: I don't own Harry Potter.

* * *

Hermione turned in her chair. She locked her gaze with a pair of grey eyes; they swirled around her head, left….right…. She slipped out of her chair and sank to the ground in a graceless heap.

Potter was too busy staring at him to notice Granger's collapse. Draco had noticed. He stepped one step forward to help her, but then he thought better of it and remained rooted to his spot.

Blaise Zabini walked past the two rivals and helped Nancy pull Hermione back into her chair. He glanced back worriedly to Draco and Potter. He now understood why witnesses were so important. And upon closer inspection of the room he noticed much damage to its structure. This also worried him. He didn't know who he felt worse for. Probably in equal aspects for both participants. Granger and Draco would never live through this matrimony.

"Aren't you going to help your friend Potter?" Draco sneered looking at Grangers limp body. Blaise propped up Granger into her chair and stepped away quickly before Potter turned on him.

Harry looked at Hermione and frowned, he looked back to Draco, "Why do you care?" he asked coolly. Harry had barely noticed that Hermione had fainted. He did his best to hide his embarrassment about forgetting his friend and returned to glaring at Malfoy.

"Well, it appears I have to marry her, so I should like her alive" Draco said rolling his eyes. He remained by the door the whole time. He watched Blaise take the far right seat, leaving him to sit next to Granger.

How on earth? How of all the possible people had he managed to get stuck with her? Well…in honesty, only thirty females in the school had received letters. Twenty of them were substantially younger than him, so his odds weren't all that good. But couldn't they have placed him with someone older? He wouldn't have minded anyone but Granger! Couldn't he have married outside of Britain?

Nothing good would come of this. He would be deprived of a life, of freedom, of sex, of partying, of everything he enjoyed to do. He really wanted to cry and pout, but he did not think fainting would have suited him as well as it did Granger.

"Hermione" Harry said softly as he patted her face, "Eneverate" he whispered poking her with his wand.

Hermione sat up in her chair abruptly, "Oh god Harry, I think I've had a horrid nightmare" she cried grabbing her face with her hands.

"I think we must be having the same dream then Granger" Draco mumbled from the door.

Hermione turned around again; "No" she groaned placing her hands over her face she turned swiftly to Harry, "Goodnight" she said shutting her eyes tightly.

"Hermione, it's not a dream" Harry said trying to pry her fingers off her face.

A loud whining groan issued from her mouth and Harry flinched. "This has got to be a joke. Are you serious?" she asked Nancy.

Nancy shrugged, "Honey, I don't make the policy, I just preserve it" she said sorting papers. "Please take a seat Mr. Malfoy" she suggested pointing to the empty chair.

"No thank you, I'll stand right here by the door" he replied cheekily.

"Well, you can hardly be bonded from there" Nancy sighed tiredly, her fingers crawled into her hair agitatedly.

"No, I'm quite fine" he insisted stubbornly.

"Listen Mr. Malfoy, either sit yourself into this chair, or you can do it with the help of aurors. I've had too many of these damn cases today and I'm not in a patient mood" Nancy snapped.

Draco looked grudgingly at the chair, then walked forward and sat down. He shifted it to the right.

That was just fine by Hermione, the further he was from her, the better. How on earth could she marry Malfoy? Was this some joke? _There's no way it could be worse_. Stupid Ginny, she must have jinxed everything. Apparently there were many ways that it could be worse, for example: having to marry Malfoy. And there was no way out of it. Regardless of what Harry promised, she and Malfoy would have to go through with it. Hermione's only comfort was that Malfoy hated the idea as much as she did. "Do we have to get bound today?" she asked with a frown.

"Yes" Nancy said shortly.

"But if we get bound, there's no backing out" Hermione cried in distress. Harry placed a hand on her knee to keep her from leaping at the woman.

"Exactly the point love" Nancy said coldly, "exactly the point. But before we can get you bonded we have to set some tactics in order" she explained.

"Like what?" Draco asked nervously.

"Where will you two be living after marriage? You will be married right at the end of your school year, if so, you'll have to have a home in preparation" Nancy said pulling out the correct form and showing it to them.

"My house" Draco and Hermione said in unison.

"Your house?"

"My house!"

"Do you honestly think I'll be living in your dump?" Draco asked heatedly.

Hermione scoffed angrily, "I will not be living in your manor under any circumstance! You are well aware of what happened to me in that hell hole and I refuse to ever return there!" Hermione yelled, she moved closer to him, threatening him with her imminence.

Draco was not perturbed, he moved nearer as well, "I have other estates" he growled.

"NO! I refuse! It will be my house!" Hermione yelled right in his face.

Draco gripped the sides of his chairs tightly, her hot breath hit his nose and heated his face, "Granger, please concede" he said through his gritted teeth. His knuckles whitened and his fingers tightened even more clutching the chair.

"No" Hermione replied evenly. She would not be living in any of his haunted castles; she wanted a real house to spend her life in. She would not be chasing ghosts, wearing black and having pale soft voiced children who spent their afternoons in foggy graveyards!

"Ooo you!" he snarled pulling his wand out of his pocket with practiced ease.

"Accio wand" Blaise said quickly. He had been waiting for Draco to resort to violence. It was easy to see it coming. Nobody ever refused Draco this well, or this often. He was not likely to handle it with grace and dignity.

Draco's wand flew to Blaise's hand, "Blaise! What the hell are you doing? I wanted to curse her!" Draco cried in annoyance turning to his friend.

Blaise ignored him; instead he focused on the document that sat on the table and kept Draco's wand tight in his own hand. This would not end well...

Nancy cleared her throat "Since we can come to no agreement, you will simply have to purchase a new house"

Draco and Hermione both made to object but Nancy silenced them with her raised hand, "Listen you two, if you can't make an agreement, then you will have to liquidate your assets and buy a new home" she said plainly "Those, are the _rules_".

"Fine" Hermione said brusquely. She could not argue with rules. She grabbed the form on the table and scrawled her signature on it. She practically threw the quill back on the table. It squirted ink angrily. Harry signed his name next to hers carefully, all the while shooting her a worried glance.

Draco mumbled under his breath as he signed his name opposite hers. Stupid Granger, she was really asking for too much, he had many homes to be chosen from, but no…

"How about income?" Nancy asked with pursed lips.

"I have more than enough"

"I'll be a healer"

"You will not be working!" Malfoy spat in anger turning towards Granger.

"What do you expect me to do then?" she asked coldly.

"You will be my wife" he said as though it were the most obvious thing ever.

"That's not a job!" Hermione retaliated, "You chauvinistic backwards swine!"

"Please, let's act like adults" Nancy said with gritted teeth. Harry kept his eyes fixed on Malfoy, he wanted to avoid any dangerous confrontation, but it seemed like everything was escalating towards just that. "Miss Granger, you are perfectly entitled to finish school and work. Mr. Malfoy, if it suits you then you can live off your parents money for the rest of your life" It was clear to see who Nancy was beginning to side with. Hermione had a smug look on her face. "Naturally your accounts will be joined and you shall have full access both ways" she added quietly.

"I don't need his money" Hermione muttered under her breath. She was just aching for a real fight at the moment. She hated Malfoy, and she would not let this go down easily. It was her way or not at all.

"Well I think your wardrobe speaks differently" Draco muttered under his breath. He could hear Granger's snide comments clearly. And they were unwarranted. All he wanted to do was just finish this as quickly as possible and move on in his miserable life. Oh Merlin, he would actually have to live with her. He would have to touch her…he shuddered.

* * *

The conversation continued as such. Smart comments and insults were being thrown back and forth but they progressed quickly through the list of important topics. Eventually everything was joined together and decided. Their future was planned and signed.

"Any final questions?" Nancy asked not believing her luck. This hadn't gone over as badly as she had assumed it would have. She had expected a few curses at least. Perhaps her day was not going to be as horrid as she had thought.

"Is she a virgin?" Draco asked Nancy offhandedly.

Both Hermione and Harry were standing in a split second, "That is _so_ not appropriate!" Hermione yelled. She pointed her finger accusatorily at Malfoy and said "he's just trying to be an arse!"

"It is a perfectly valid question!" Draco screamed loudly, he would not put up with this ludicrousness any longer. He had every right to know!

"No it is not. I don't believe the matter is relevant in the slightest regard" Hermione seethed standing as close as she dared. He was a good head taller then her, but he barely intimidated her. She watched his cold eyes narrow treacherously. He was angry, good, so was she.

Draco could feel her warm breath on his chin, how dare she? Who was she to question his standards? Who was she to attempt to control him? "Back off Granger" he sneered placing his hands on her shoulders and gripping tightly. The fabric of her robe crinkled under his fingers and he could feel the knots in her shoulders.

"I suggest you remove your gritty hands from my person Malfoy. In case you have forgotten, I still have my wand" she whispered precariously. Hermione's blood was boiling, she was hot to the touch and she was ready for a fight.

Her eyes widened in surprise and then narrowed in concern "When did you get your wand back?" she asked seriously, staring him in the eyes.

"Who said it was my wand?" Draco purred suggestively as he leaned closer to her to whisper in her ear.

He supposed he foresaw what came next; he supposed he also deserved it.

Hermione slapped him with all the strength she could muster. Draco went back a step and bumped into his chair, "Vile, beastly, inhumane creature!" she screamed at him "Innuendo! Never in my life! You- I can't believe you!" she spouted in frustration. Her face was flushed a deep red and Draco felt slightly proud in making her uncomfortable. But that humor was overshadowed by the rage, she was not allowed to touch him. Let alone hit him.

Draco's chest was heaving; he was not going to take this from a mudblood. He stood quickly and walked towards her, slapping her in return. Granted, a little harder than she had slapped him. Granger barely moved but he could see the pain reflected in her eyes. Good.

"Wife beater" she hissed.

Draco's face fell at her words.

The whole room was in an uproar. Nancy was on the phone, Potter and Blaise were both pointing wands at each other. And yet, Granger was only looking at him gloomily. "Would you sink so low?" she asked.

"I'm sorry, I was mad" he spat stepping away from her.

Hermione flinched at those words, "That's not an excuse. You do realize we have to marry, no matter how incompatible we are, no matter how much we hate each other. We can't go back. But if you beat me Malfoy, I will not be against aveda-ing your ass" she said in a deadly whisper.

"Sometimes women need to be hit, they need to know their place" he said with a sneer.

Her leg came up swiftly. Draco was still staring at her face so he barely noticed her quick and calculated move. But he soon found himself cradling little Malfoy in his hands while he lay on the floor. "Jesus" he wheezed as his eyes watered. Her knee had brilliant aim. Blaise was yelling something but Draco was having difficulty comprehending.

Sparks were shooting over his head, Granger knelt down beside him. "Sometimes men need to be taught their place too Malfoy. And it seems you've found yours" she whispered pleasantly. Draco tried to muster a dirty look but there were flashing lights behind his eyes.

Aurors smashed through the door and began restraining all parties, their wands pointed in warning. Before you could say Weasley Wizard Wheezes Draco found himself sitting in his chair next to Granger. Only this time around, his wrists and ankles were attached to the chair, as were everybody else's.

* * *

"Well now" Nancy said in a slow and cold tone, "Since we have all settled down, perhaps we should continue…any questions?" Her hair was even more disarranged and pink blotches had appeared on her cheeks.

"I have one" Hermione said huffily.

"Yes Miss Granger" Nancy said dropping her chin into her hand with a sniffle.

"I should like to know if Mr. Malfoy is a virgin" Hermione said with a straight face.

Draco flushed bright red. Stupid bint! She was attempting to get back at him, well, not likely. "I most certainly am not, and when we are married, I will show you my expertise" he grinned lightly, "So that would lead to the question of your virginity"

"I should like to keep that to myself" Hermione said, but it was directed to Nancy, not Malfoy. Nancy nodded in understanding.

"Anything else?" she asked rolling her eyes and waving her hand.

"Am I really required to…touch him?" Hermione asked with a shudder.

"Yes, you are required by the ministry to begin procreation two months after your wedding…if that is all, I should like to explain what happens next" Nancy said looking back down into her binder.

"What happens next?" Harry asked in confusion.

"Well, you can't very well just go off after everything that has happened here, oh on, you will need training" Nancy said calmly as she took out another batch of papers from her desk. There was a small smirk on her face, a revenge she had in store.

"Training?" Blaise asked in perplexity. He was still in disbelief about the situation. Perhaps things had gotten a little out of hand. He wondered if this fight would go down on his permanent record, he couldn't have any blemishes upon it! He had to send one in for his post-secondary education.

"Yes, call it a marriage boot camp if you will" Nancy said evenly, "Mr. Malfoy and Mrs. Granger will be spending the next month leading up to their wedding handling the situations of a married couple"

"What kind of situations?" Hermione asked cautiously. Bile was rising up her throat, nervousness clinging to her back like sweat. She hated the idea of a test, they always made her nervous. Especially this one, considering her drive to do exceptionally well.

"I cannot say. But they will come to you, and you and Mr. Malfoy will be expected to handle them correctly and gracefully. It will allow you to become more comfortable with the idea of living with one another" Nancy explained pushing yet another paper towards Hermione.

"Is it possible to fail this course?" Draco asked.

"Oh yes" Nancy said with a solemn nod.

"What happens then?" Hermione asked leaning forward. She turned to look at Malfoy, he looked back at her. There was a mutual fear surrounding the room.

"Ah, perhaps the consequences are too dire to even consider. My suggestion is that you pass it. It would be in your interest to do so" Nancy said with a sad smile. It was as though she already knew what the results would be.


	3. Get Over It

**Chapter Three: Get Over It**

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Harry, of the Potter kind; I do have my own Harry though. He sits beside me in my ENGL 324-01 class.

**A/N: **Some readers are confused as to who is alive and who is dead. I suggest going back and reading more carefully. As to Ron's dead mother, yes she is dead, yes he talks of her as though she is alive. It's done with purpose, and it's a little secondary plot. Sorry to confuse anyone, but I don't really put up warnings. You have to catch the weird little incidents as they come. Cheers.

* * *

"I hope you die" Hermione seethed as they exited the office escorted by aurors; separated by a mere meter. Like two snapping dogs they baited each other maliciously and spat snide remarks.

"Mudbloods first" he growled back with a sneer.

"Come on Hermione" Harry said grabbing her arm and leading her quickly out of the reception area and out of the ministry. "YES _YOUR_ MUDBLOOD WIFE!" Hermione screamed as Harry dragged her out the door. She shook herself free of Harry's hands and began marching down the long hall towards the lift.

Harry followed behind timidly. He rubbed the bridge of his nose tiredly. He also had to attend Ron's meeting, would he be able to handle it after this? It all depended on whom Ron had to marry. "Hermione" Harry called weakly after her; she was already meters ahead of him.

But before she even made it to the lifts, Hermione stopped dead in the hall. Harry halted a good distance away and cautiously watched her. Hermione's body shook and her fists curled at her sides. Harry had seen this once before and it had not been pretty. He covered his ears and shut his eyes praying for it to be over quickly.

Hermione's mouth opened wide and she screamed in rage and frustration; shattering all of the glass on that floor.

* * *

The aurors finally let go of Draco's arms as Granger left through the door.

"Room 18, there appears to be a security issue" the little radio on the blonde aurors belt sighed tiredly. The two aurors gave Draco a reproving look "watch yourself little boy" the brunette beast said coming too close to Draco for his liking. Then they turned away and walked off to their next problem couple. Draco stuck his tongue out after them.

"Aw mate" Blaise chuckled looking at his best friend, "I'm sorry for your misfortune. After all, _your_ mudblood wife just left through that door"

"Shut up!" Draco snapped. As soon as the words left his mouth, the glass on every door in the room shattered.

* * *

"Noooo!" Hermione cried loudly as she sat on the common room floor surrounded by Harry, Ron and Ginny. "No, no, no, nu-no!" she sang loudly banging her hands on the table before her. People began to stare, and then they started to whisper. Hermione seemed oblivious to this.

Harry rolled his eyes and looked to Ron who was utterly confused with Hermione's odd behavior. They had all been confused with her lately, and perhaps Malfoy was just the last chip on her shoulder Hermione could handle. None of them had had it easy since they came back to school, and it seemed that every horrible thing that had happened to them in the span of eight years had finally hit the ceiling. The shit was piled high. Hermione just happened to be the first to lose her wits.

"Hermione, I think it's a good idea" said the voice of reason, namely Ginny.

"Inviting _him_ to the Burrow? Do you _know_ how _stupid_ that would be?" Hermione asked in an exaggerated tone. It had been a mere two days since she had found out she was required to marry Malfoy. During those two days the majority of the school had been matched with their respected others. Harry and Ginny were to be married, of course, it was _hardly_ a surprise. Ron was to marry Eloise Midgen. It could have been worse for him, Eloise was a nice girl, and at least her acne had finally cleared up. Understandably though, Ron was less than thrilled, but he considered himself lucky. Most others got off lucky as well, at least being matched within their houses, all but Hermione.

She had yet to send any word to her parents about the whole ordeal. Hermione was terrified at the thought of telling her father about whom she had to marry. He had been less than pleased when Hermione had explained such a law was possible many months ago. He had spent days ranting and raving, throwing things about the house in the name of injustice.

But now to know it had happened, and that his only daughter had to marry the man she hated most…well, it would be a sordid affair when her fiancé and father met. Hermione's brain rattled with a sudden thought. What if her father came charging to the school in an angry fit threatening to kill Malfoy? Hermione smiled at the thought, it was a pleasant one. Wait, had Malfoy told his parents? What if Malfoy's parents came bursting into the damn school sending curses at her? Hermione groaned and placed her head on the table.

In the two days since finding Malfoy was her intended Hermione had successfully managed to avoid him at every corner. This was an amazing feat considering they had all of the same classes but one. They never looked at one another, shared not even a word, dared not even to breath the same air.

In the halls, during meals, in class, teachers and students would always keep a watchful eye on the two of them. Apparently news of the ministry fiasco had taken wind and flown directly into everybody's ears. So they toed about one another. Both were cautious about the tests that might be thrown their way. So far nothing had appeared, perhaps if they avoided one another there would be no problem between them. Not until they had to fornicate anyway, Hermione was looking forward to no such thing. In fact, she would rather die on a broom than get in bed with Malfoy. She was sure the feeling was more that mutual.

The whole school was rather confused. Hermione could see why. People had probably expected her and Malfoy to come back more violent than ever before. Hell, they disliked each other much more now. But to be cursing one another would bring no good to what was already a miserable situation. Hermione was terrified of the supposed tests that were to randomly come their way. The thought of failure was too much to tolerate, and it seemed rather…deadly.

* * *

_Dear Mother, _

_I am writing to inform you of who has been picked as my spouse. I assure you that there was nothing I could do to fix it…It is the mudblood-_

_Mother Dearest! _

_I have been ordered by the law to marry a filthy mudblood! Granger! _

Draco crumpled this one as well and threw it into his bin. He pulled out another piece of parchment, and began to write feverishly…

_Dear Mother, _

_I have been ordered to marry Hermione Granger. Break the news to father. Love the sweater you sent, excited to see you soon!_

_Dracididdums_

He leaned back and reread his stupid letter. It was the best he could do. How on earth was he to explain to his parents that he had to marry Hermione Granger, or sire children with her? Merlin, that would not go over well at all… but it wasn't as though they could be mad at him about it. After all, it was the ministry's decision, not his or hers. Perhaps his father would attempt to buy his way out? There was a loophole to every ministry law.

Draco grabbed the letter and stood up; he needed to go find his owl in the owlry, it was about time his parents found out.

* * *

Hermione was tying her letter to an anxious Hedwig. It was so short and terse, but Hermione was at a loss as to what to write. It wasn't as though she could do much; it wasn't her damn fault she had to marry Malfoy. Her parents would be mortified and furious. After all she was going to marry the very same boy she complained and cried about every summer.

_Mom, _

_I have to marry Draco Malfoy. I'll see you soon and we'll talk about it. Break the news to dad gently._

_Love, _

_Hermione_

"What are you doing here?" came the cool chiding voice from behind her.

Hermione groaned outwardly, "Maybe it would be best for you to leave Malfoy, I do have my wand on me, I might accidentally decapitate you with a slip of my hand" Hermione threatened frivolously. She was still struggling to tie the letter to Hedwig. Her hands were now trembling with rage at the arrival of Malfoy. Why did he have to pop up now? She had easily shunned him since the meeting, and now he had to ruin what was left of her night? Merlin, how on earth would she manage living with him? No, best not to think of such things yet. There was still time before that, a _whole_ two months.

A cool breeze flew in from the owlry window and Draco took a deep breath. She was just a girl, not much to fear. He turned and looked at her with disdain. Her hair was a mess, her features plain. At least she had what could be a decent body under that horrid uniform. For him it was more than just a wife. He needed a woman firstly, and secondly he needed a woman who could uphold those pureblood Malfoy standards. He didn't think Granger would be up to it. But then again, he wasn't exactly her ideal mate either. Granger probably wanted something stupid like to marrying for love. Ha!

"Whatever. I'm not scared of you. Besides, it would get you in a lot of trouble if you were to decapitate your _fiancé_" he said looking along the rows of owls for his own owl Hermes. To be honest, he was a little worried about being so close to Granger, and in such seclusion. But he couldn't let her see him sweat; he couldn't let her think she had him beat already.

"I wouldn't get in trouble if nobody found you. Pardon, I mean _parts_ of you" Hermione said successfully tying her letter. Hedwig spread her wings and flew out the large window. Hermione turned and winked at Malfoy, then walked past him without another word.

Draco watched her go down the stone stairs, her shoes clicking with every step, a lump forming in his throat. Perhaps he should take every intimidation from Granger's lips seriously, she was capable, and there was no denying that.

* * *

Hermione ate breakfast the next day on the edge of her seat, anxiously looking up for Hedwig to appear. Her parents would have had to reply right away, Hedwig would have made sure of it. Hermione was worried. But luckily she couldn't receive a howler…still Malfoy might. She was certain he had been sending a letter to his own parents last night. Hermione thought that avoiding anymore public embarrassment would be prime.

Her breath caught as she saw a flash of white in a flock of brown. Harry, who was sitting beside her, followed her gaze and looked up to watch the arrival of mail. Hedwig dropped down on the table before them. Hermione quickly untied the reply from her leg. "Here" she said pushing her plate towards Hedwig as she stood from the table.

"Where are you going Hermione?" Ginny asked in exasperation.

"I'll be back in a second" Hermione said walking briskly out of the great hall, the letter clenched tightly in her hand.

"I'll be right back" Draco said standing from the table.

"Where are you going mate?" Blaise asked looking up from his plate.

"Don't worry about it" Draco said absentmindedly as he stumbled off of the bench and shuffled out of the hall, letters in hand.

* * *

Blaise sighed and watched his friend leave. "I hate this" Pansy whined from beside him. The whole school knew she was pining over Draco. Even if they had not dated in nearly three years.

"Who doesn't?" Blaise asked with a scowl, "I wanted to be a bachelor for a while longer. I haven't nearly whored myself enough. I'll be married a virgin" Blaise muttered looking down the table where Millicent sat. His beautiful fiancé. He was going to marry a large hairy man with a vagina. As far as he could see, Draco had gotten it good. While Granger was disagreeable, she was guaranteed to be better looking naked than Millicent. There was nothing to surprise him under dear old Millie's cloths, they barely covered her anyway.

"Blaise, you're hardly a virgin" Pansy said in a tittering tone as she chewed her dry toast, "You've been around most of the school. You've even had a romp with most Gryffindor's" she said bitterly.

A disgusted look came over Blaise's face. "Pansy, just call it sex" he muttered unpleasantly "Besides, I'll kill myself before I 'romp' with Millicent. I don't know how on earth I'm going to get her pregnant" he muttered.

"There are other ways" Pansy said with a shrug.

"Oh?" Blaise asked with casual interest. Inside he was ecstatic, anything to avoid touching the beast was golden.

"Yes, just tell her you're having ejaculation problems and that your little men are weak. Then convince her to take a contraceptive potion, you jack off into a cup, and whuz-pa!" she said with a flourish of a wand indicating some spell. She then smiled sweetly and took another bite of her toast.

"That easy?" Blaise asked in surprise.

"Oh sure it sounds easy. But I'm sure Millicent would love to bag you. You're going to have trouble convincing her that you won't conceive just with sex. And even after that, she might just want to screw. Looking the way she does, she's probably desperate. This for her is a miracle" Pansy said lightly dropping her half eaten piece of toast back on her plate with repugnance.

Blaise looked back down at Millicent; she turned and smiled at him. He sighed and dropped his head on the table.

* * *

Draco turned left at the door and began to tear at his first letter quickly, he noticed his fathers seal upon it. He heard a loud groan and looked up. Granger sat on the stairs reading her own letter. He would deal with her later, his eyes dropped back to his letter.

_Draco! _

_Did you honestly think your mother would care to read the mail? Did you think you would get away with this by having your mother tell me?_

It _had_ been a risk…

_Granger? Granger? The bushy headed big toothed mudblood? I am disappointed. I will immediately be heading to the ministry today to sort out this issue. It cannot go on unresolved. This is preposterous, ridiculous! My son being forced to marry someone like her? Don't tell your mother, no point in worrying her over nothing. _

_Father_

He folded the letter back up. It could have been worse. But for now it seemed he was out of trouble, his father would surely attempt to fix the situation. But Draco was unsure of how much his father could do; after all, he was now of age, his father could no longer help him out of tough situations as easily as before. He began to open the next letter. A familiar scent floated from the paper, it was from his mother.

_Draco! _

_Did your father honestly think I wouldn't see your letter? The idiot. Listen son, I think this marriage is a perfectly good idea. So stop the silly pouting and move along with it all. Hermione Granger is a perfectly respected woman and a wonderful match for you. If you want to move on if life and make something of yourself, it cannot be following in your father's uptight blood ideals. Make your mother proud. Do the right thing for once, and do it on your own terms. _

_Mum_

Draco had to reread this letter twice. His mother actually thought marrying Granger was a good idea? It was conceivable to see why, but all the same Draco didn't care much for the matching. Currently though he was worried about what his mother would do to his father when she found out that he planned to go to the ministry and change the situation. Draco folded this letter back up too and placed it in his pocket.

Tiredly leaning against the wall he cast a sideways glance at Granger. She was still reading her letter, not having noticed him. He wondered what he parents thought of this. They were not likely pleased; in fact, Draco was a little scared of her father coming to strangle him with his bare hands. The Granger's seemed like a rather violent family.

"What did they say?" he asked.

Granger looked up in shock. Her eyes narrowed and lips turned seeing it was Malfoy. "What do you think? They are hardly pleased with this. My father wants to kill you. My mother hates it too, but she thinks it could turn out to be a good thing. I have no idea where she got that idea" she muttered folding her letter and stuffing it into her book bag.

"We're going to have to get along" Draco said with a sigh. He said it arbitrarily, to no one in particular, just to himself and the world. An indefinite statement.

"We'll have to do more than that" Granger said standing and straightening her skirt. Draco winced, it was true, but he'd rather not think of that matter.

She walked past him coolly, her arm gently brushing against his stomach.

"OW!" Hermione screamed jumped away from Malfoy. Her book bag slid of her shoulder and thumped to the floor, its contents clattering away.

He doubled over dropping his bag on the floor.

"You jerk! What did you do?" she cried; thinking he was bent over laughing. A moment later she realized he was bending over in pain. "Malfoy?" she asked walking back to him. She touched his shoulder gently.

"SHIT!" she cried jumping away from him again. Another violent shock ran through her body causing everything to feel like it was being pinched simultaneously. "What are you doing?" she asked tearfully cradling her hand, it was still burning.

Malfoy straightened up and leaned against the wall. Hermione could see a flush creeping along his cheeks and on his neck. "Fuck, that bloody hurt" he groaned softly "What are you playing at Granger?" he asked angrily. His eyes glinted with fury and pain, his face was set in stone, only a small wince remained on his lips. "Argh" he moaned bending over again.

Hermione moved closer to him, her shoes clicking on the floor of the empty foyer. She inspected him carefully. Indeed his wand was not on his person; Hermione noted it poking out of his bag. That meant that Malfoy couldn't possibly be causing the shocks, besides, why would he hurt himself? She reached to touch his face cautiously, her fingers hovering right by his cheek. Was it worth it? What if she caused more damage?

"Don't" he groaned again shutting his eyes. "Every time you touch me I feel like I'm under the cruciatus" he breathed loudly grabbing his sides in desperation for some unseen relief.

Her hand dropped to her side. "Don't be so dramatic" Hermione said with disdain, "It's not that bad". She still felt a light buzz, and she was dizzy, but indeed she was not doubled over in pain like him.

Draco's eyes opened and he stared at her coldly. Hermione shivered and stepped away from him, "Trust me, it hurts" he wheezed.

Hermione bit her lip and frowned at Malfoy. He appeared to be in genuine pain, but what could she do? "Do you want me to go get you someone to take you to the hospital wing?" she asked nervously. Malfoy was not looking well. His whole body was flushed now and his breathing was dangerously shallow.

"No…I'm fine" he said pushing of the wall and forcing himself to stand straight. He turned away from her and walked to the stairs. Suddenly his knees buckled and he went forward. Without thinking Hermione reached for him, her hand grabbed his jacket to slow him down. She succeeded in doing so, but in return a horrible pain shook her to her bones.

She dropped to the floor behind him holding her chest and trying to wait the pain out. It felt exactly like a crucio. Was this a cruel joke, or was this one of those little tests sent their way to ensure a prosperous marriage? How could the marriage be prosperous if they were both dead?

Hermione doubled over and laid her head on her knees. Slowly the pain ebbed away, but not by much. She looked up and saw Malfoy lying on the ground in front of her not moving. "Come on, get up. We seriously need to get to the hospital wing" she muttered trembling to her feet.

Malfoy didn't move. "Oh please" she said in annoyance, "It can't hurt you more than it hurts me". He still didn't move. Luckily he was no longer flushed; in fact…he was pale. This worried Hermione more. She couldn't even tell if he was returning to his natural colour, or if this was a dangerous shade "Get over it!" she yelled; hiding her anxiety with anger.

Hermione turned and stumbled back to the great hall gripping the walls for support, "Harry" she called weakly from the door.

Harry looked up at her breaking his intensely quiet conversation with Ron. Seeing her awkward stature and flushed face; worry and adrenaline rushed through Harry's system. His hero complex returned in full force after a year long break. He jumped off the bench and ran to her. The whole hall turned to stare; teachers began to rise out of their seats.


	4. Beg Pardon?

**Chapter Four: Beg Pardon?**

**Disclaimer: **I don't own H-Pizzle-Dog (Harry Potter)

* * *

Hermione was petrified about turning over. The pain of taking a simple breath was enough to make her wish she was unconscious again. Hermione may have been strong, but only of the will, she hated pain. Speaking of pain…

Malfoy was in the bed to the right of her surrounded by his own curtains. Poppy had said that he was far worse off than she. But still no explanation had been found as to why both she and Malfoy had ended up in the hospital wing so suddenly. Was it some sort of curse, perhaps an illness, terminal or contagious, she hardly knew what to think…

"WHAT?"

Hermione sat up suddenly, forgetting her condition at the sound of Harry's infuriated voice. "Argh" she groaned dropping back on the bed due to sudden striking pains. Blinding lights were flashing behind her eyelids, and her head was sure to split open. What this how Harry had felt nearly every day for seventeen years of his life? Poor boy…

Her curtains were ripped back; a fuming Harry walked over to her bed and plopped down on the chair beside her head. She opened her eyes slowly and looked at him and then turned her eyes about to see McGonagall walk by her bed with a sweep of her robes. Hermione couldn't help but frown, even though it hurt to do so.

Harry's cheeks were flushed and he appeared to be muttering something indiscernible under his breath. What had he and McGonagall talked about? And why had she just walked by so quickly without saying anything to Hermione?

"I can't believe this" he grumbled loudly, as though he was pleading for her to ask him what the problem was.

In that case, bludgeon tact.

"What's going on?" Hermione asked quietly, searching Harry's face. He looked livid, and Hermione just couldn't grasp why. Perhaps whatever this illness was, it was affecting her brain. God forbid!

"Oh yeah, well, basically you and Malfoy can't touch because you hate each other so much, and the more you hate each other the more it will hurt to be in contact. So, seeing as he hates you far more than you hate him, that would be why he's in critical condition right now and you got by just barely. But what I see as being the problem is the question of how you're supposed to get married, live with one another, have children, if physical contact will kill you or him or both" Harry ranted, red in the face.

Hermione's eyes widened in surprise, well, she had not been expecting this. She let the words sink in "oh" she replied lamely.

"Listen, I'm going to go and fill in Ron and Ginny, they're both worried sick pacing outside the door. You rest and I'll be back in a bit, hopefully with a solution too" Harry said with a heaving sigh as he pulled himself out of the chair.

"Yeah, okay" Hermione muttered watching Harry walk away; he left her curtains open as he left. Well, this was a situation. How the hell were she and Malfoy supposed to get along if they couldn't be near each other? Was this a test from the ministry, or was this some deep magic that couldn't be skirted about?

"Bloody hell" Hermione groaned; the situation had just become worse than ever imaginable before. Not only did she have to marry Malfoy – Merlin! She couldn't even do that. Hermione was desperately hoping she and Malfoy could get along for both of their sakes. But how could she ask that of him when she knew that it was unlikely she herself would manage being nice? "Kill me now" she sighed.

"Ditto" came Malfoy's strained voice from the bed next to hers. A pale arm came from between the slit in the curtains and it ripped them open. Hermione turned her head to the right and frowned. Malfoy was frowning back at her. "You're lucky that there's no evidence tying you to this mudblood, because I could have you in Azkaban in a second flat for hurting an influential member of society's son" he threatened.

Hermione rolled her eyes "Please Malfoy, your father is less influential than the first years in this kind of situation" she replied coldly.

Draco said nothing in response. He lay on his bed and gritted his teeth noisily, wondering all the while if he could smother Granger in her sleep. The mudblood was causing more problems than he had anticipated. The ministry threat he had received did not fall as lightly on his mind as his appearance may have deceived. Draco was terrified of the consequences, he hated the word itself. Draco knew that the ministry would not hesitate to throw them in Azkaban or curse them with celibacy if they refused to do as told. He and Granger meant nothing to the ministry or wizarding world as they were now, all they were good for was bearing children…Draco only wanted one child, a boy…he didn't want a herd of busy haired, big toothed, know-it-all, half-breeds running about his knees…

It didn't matter anyway; he and Granger weren't likely to be procreating, one way or another. Either his father would pull him out of this mess, or he or Granger would have to deal with the consequences of refusing to concede to ministry demands. He had a feeling it would be the latter. Since the feeling of dislike was mutual, Draco had no hope for survival.

Part of him desperately wished that he and Granger could get along, but the mutual hate between them was so strong that it just seemed impossible. Her lying less than a meter from him did not bother him now; there was no real anger, just annoyance. Draco only felt hate towards Granger when he really thought hard about her. When she wasn't on his mind, the emotion was non-existent. Well, this led him to think. Maybe he didn't really hate Granger, maybe there was another reason to all of this. If he could find a way to not hate her, or at least mask it well, then the situation might work out. But as things stood at the moment, they were both severely doomed. "What now?" he asked quietly.

'Dunno" Granger replied, unhelpfully.

"Dunno?" he said brusquely, plainly mocking her "I thought you were the brightest witch of our age?" he sneered. It was the pain that was making him worse than usual; Draco knew that his rudeness was not helping the situation. It couldn't be helped though, he was tired, in pain, and extremely worried, and he needed a punching bag. Granger did not seem willing though. She appeared to be locked in her own mind.

"Piss off Malfoy, I'd much rather wallow in my sorrow without having to listen to you" she said coldly, and he watched her turn over in her bed. Now all he could see was her back.

"Oh please, get over yourself. This isn't over" Draco said coolly.

"Isn't it? I'd say it is. It's unlikely we'll ever get along, much less like each other enough to have children with one another. And I don't want to bring other people into this nasty air between us. So I'd say it's over. We'll face whatever dire consequences the ministry dishes out for us and finish this thing" Granger said pessimistically.

Draco could feel his mouth hanging in disbelief; it took a tremendous amount of effort to snap it shut. "I don't think so Granger, you're not taking me down with you" he said angrily.

To his surprise she sat up and swung her feet out of bed. He flinched as she marched over to him. Her cheeks were bleak but the anger was apparent on her face all the same. Draco felt cornered, Granger was now hanging over him and he had nowhere to run. Thank goodness she hadn't her wand.

"I am not taking you down with me. This is both of us. You are just as much to blame here as I am, so I would appreciate it if you wouldn't cast all of the blame on me. According to professor McGonagall the reason you are in so much more pain that I is because you hate me more than I hate you" Hermione spat out viciously.

Malfoy looked up at her from under the cover of his sheet, which was drawn up to his chin supposing she attacked him. "What does that have to do with anything?" he asked in his best attempt at scorn.

"The reason you and I are in the hospital wing is because we hate each other. Every time we contact we feel the physical manifestation of our hate. So when you touch me you feel the intensity of your hate for me" she explained with crossed arms, looking down upon him sourly.

"What?" he asked in surprise, "That's the largest bag of bullocks I've ever-"

"I'm dead serious" Hermione said cutting him off.

Draco frowned; he could clearly recall just how painful Granger's touch had been. He could only take so much before he blacked out. Well, so much for not really hating her. His whole theory was kaput…that didn't mean he was ready to give up. As a Malfoy he could hardly been seen as a failure. It was bad enough the world already knew he was engaged to Granger, all he needed now were rumors that the engagement wasn't working. It would not sit well with his currant image, no, no, it would not to do at all!

"So let's like each other" Draco said in perfect seriousness.

Granger blinked twice and then doubled over laughing, clutching her stomach. The laughter died quickly and was replaced with a grimace of pain. She sat down on the edge of his bed.

"Easier said than done Malfoy" she said with a sad smile, she gazed out the window on the other side of the room.

"We can try, can we not?" he asked.

"You know this won't be easy. I know you really hate me…I just don't think we have enough time to get to a place where we like each other enough to pass the ministry standard" Granger sighed. She was really being impossible, and he was becoming very peeved. Draco didn't give a shit about her calculations, if he wanted something enough he was sure to get it. End of story.

"Well, then, we'll have to speed things along in that case" Draco said flippantly. Granger turned to look at him; disbelief was etched all over her face. "Come closer Granger" Draco said suddenly, his face as hard as stone.

Hermione gave him a weary look; she hated the tone of voice he was using. She wasn't a dog about to obey his commands. Plus, she didn't particularly like the determined look on his face "Why? So you can spit in my face?" she asked coldly.

"I want to whisper something to you" Malfoy insisted, now beckoning her with his pointer finger. Hermione's mouth slackened in bewilderment.

"Or crow like a rooster loudly in my ear. I know the joke, I'd rather not partake in it" Hermione said stubbornly. She wasn't going to be fooled into any horrible prank he had planned for her.

"AHH MY EYES!" Malfoy screamed suddenly, his hands flying to his shut eyes. Before Hermione could sensor her movements she lunged towards him to see what was wrong, her kind nature had overtaken her common sense.

A second later all became awkward. Malfoy grabbed her shoulders and pulled her down towards him, pressing his lips against hers. It took more than a second for Hermione to realize what had happened. But there she was, Malfoy's mouth on hers, his arms around her neck, for God knows what reason, this was probably an attempt to kill her.

While the initial shock faded, another came quite suddenly with the force of lightening, causing them both to cry out in pain.

Hermione jumped away from the madman. Her body felt as though she had been deep fried. All of the skin on her was burning painfully. Hermione closed her eyes and tried to collect herself and make sense of what had just happened. Malfoy had kissed her, undesirably, so technically he had sexually abused her…

The more she thought about it, the angrier Hermione became, "Idiot! It doesn't work that way!" she yelled glaring at Malfoy with as much contempt as she could muster; but found him with his eyes shut tight, still dealing with his own punishment. "ASSHOLE" she yelled grabbing his pillow and repeatedly smacking him with it, determined to get her satisfactory revenge and hating that he was unresponsive. Hermione was aching for a fight; she wanted him to hit her back just so she could hit him even harder. She brought the pillow down upon his head again.

This would have been the prime moment for Professor McGonagall and Harry to walk past in order to check upon the two of them.

"Hermione no!" Harry yelled running towards her and taking the pillow out of her hands, "What are you thinking?" he cried in terror as he laid eyes on the very still Malfoy. What had she been doing? Had Hermione finally snapped and decided just to kill Malfoy? Harry didn't think she had it in her.

Hermione was still livid; Harry's voice seemed distant and unclear. All she wanted to do was smother Malfoy so that he would never be able to use his lips again. She wanted him to stop breathing, stop living; he was of the vilest creatures. He hid behind his father's cloak, no courage or bravery of his own, no desire to do well, no remorse for what he had wronged. He was disgusting and Hermione didn't want to ever lay eyes on him again.

How dare he? Who had given him any right to attack her like that? Of all the horrible things Malfoy had done, this was one of the worst. He had just wanted to get his way, and he had used her in order to achieve it. The stupid blithering idiot! "He kissed me!" Hermione cried pointing an accusatory finger at Malfoy's direction. Harry frowned, clearly unsure of just how bad that was. McGonagall went paper white and her lips again disappeared completely from her face.

"Come Miss Granger, to my office, we must discuss matters" she said.

Hermione stood from the bed in a huff. Harry was still in shock, unsure of what to do "Is he alive professor?" he asked with a dumb look on his face.

"Well check Potter!" McGonagall snapped back angrily, "and please inform Mr. Malfoy that he will be receiving punishment for his misdeeds" her small eyes observed the still form on the bed, "Once he wakes of course"

With that she and Hermione left the hospital wing.

* * *

The room still felt tense even after their departure. What had Malfoy thought he was doing when he had kissed Hermione? Had he actually been stupid enough to think it would work that way? Harry had the feeling that Malfoy didn't actually understand what was happening. They had to actually like each other, it wasn't enough to pretend so, and there was no way Malfoy would be able to force Hermione's kindness.

Harry groaned loudly and looked at Malfoy with distaste. It would be too easy if Hermione had finished Malfoy off. It would make matters much simpler; unfortunately Harry didn't think that would be the case right now. He prodded Malfoy roughly with his wand. Malfoy groaned in reply, well, no such luck today. There was still time for Malfoy to have a seriously harmful incident occur to him. Harry laughed at the thought of Malfoy falling down the stairs. If Malfoy was indisposed Hermione would be matched with someone else, and anyone else was better than Malfoy.

"Hu" Harry muttered to himself. What if Malfoy did die? Hermione would have to be freed of the bond…the ministry couldn't force her to marry a dead man. And if it was something of an accident, like a slip, or an animal attack, an accident on the quidditch pitch? Perhaps something could be arranged after all… "Sweet dreams Malfoy" Harry laughed before walking away from him.

* * *

Draco stirred, but just barely so. He had no inclination of how much time had passed since the incident. But it was dark outside now, and Granger was absent. That was not one of the smartest things he had ever done, and he had received his reward for his actions. But what now? His great plan had failed.

"You awake mate?"

Draco jumped up; Blaise was sitting in the chair next to his bed with a tight smirk on his lips. "I heard about your great plan, too bad it didn't work out" he grinned.

Draco frowned, "Shut it" he muttered.

"You know, there is one other way to get out of this…" Blaise said suddenly leaning towards Draco.

"What?" Draco groaned. He didn't understand what Blaise was going on about now. Draco barely felt awake, and little made sense to him at the moment.

"You know, to get out of this marriage arrangement" Blaise said with another slick smile.

"How?" Draco asked guardedly. Blaise's ideas often failed, no matter what the subject was. And most often they involved dangerous explosive materials.

"Death" he replied simply.

Draco stared at him in disbelief, "Death?" he questioned.

"Yes death, you murder Granger, you're out of the contract" Blaise said simply.

"Easier said than done. Plus, I don't think I'm willing to go that far, it's more trouble than it's worth" Draco said.

"So you'd rather marry her, or more likely fail and then deal with the ministry punishment?" Blaise asked.

He had a point there. But Draco just couldn't imagine killing anyone, much less Granger. And if he was to be caught…well, it just seemed like a worse plan that his first one. And all common sense told him to not partake in any of it. "Good plan Blaise, but I don't think I'm going to join in" Draco said seriously.

Blaise's face remained unchanged, but he shrugged, "aright, well, good luck then mate" he said slowly standing. Draco watched him leave the hospital wing with his hands in his pockets. He felt uneasy.

Draco didn't want to ever think of going so far, but other people had such ideas. And Draco knew that Blaise was not done with his pitch. Surely he would bring it up again many times. But it just seemed barbaric and unnecessary to Draco.

Perhaps he had tried too hard? Blaise should have known that Draco would not have taken to that idea. And it seemed quite crude now that he thought of it again. But he couldn't allow his best friend to go through such torture; it wasn't fair that he had to marry Granger. It was a fate worse that Azkaban.

What if Granger had an accident of some sort? A slip or a fall…and hurt herself…or worse, killed herself. Surely then nobody would be to blame if such a thing occurred, and the ministry could not allow Draco to marry a dead woman…

* * *

**A/N: **I'm such a cruel writer, I love to put these people through misery. And man, is it going to be miserable. But fear not! It shall also be ridiculously funny!

Ana


	5. Are You Sexing Me Up?

Chapter Five: Are You Sexing Me Up?

* * *

"Granger!"

Hermione walked even quicker. One foot in front of the other, only another few meters and she was safe. She was almost at the fat lady, all she had to do was say Hildegard Higglebottom and she in her common room, _away_ from Malfoy.

"Granger wait!" he yelled after her. She could hear the ire in his voice. The moment they had locked eyes as she passed the prefect bathroom, he had been on her tail.

"Can't, I'm a very busy girl. Busy, busy, busy" she sang as she turned the corner.

"I have to talk to you!" Malfoy huffed as he cut her off and stood in front of her.

Hermione looked him up and down, with a satisfied smirk. He looked ridiculous; after all, he had been on his way to the bathroom. So he was barely dressed in a robe and slippers, carrying his toothbrush and towel over his hand. "Are you trying to seduce me Malfoy?" she muttered crossing her arms and rolling her eyes.

"What, no!" he said shaking his head in frustration "Listen, I think we need to make a truce, and write up a contract, and maybe..." he stuttered, looking absolutely lost. What had gotten into him? Ever since they found out about the curse yesterday, he had been hounding her. And for what? This issue was not going to be resolved so easily. Didn't Malfoy know better? Hermione needed time, time to find a spell to break this curse, and if he continued to aggravate her, she was more and more likely to have a slip of the wand.

"-what happened to your neck?" Hermione asked, cutting him off and zeroing in on his jaw line. He had sliced himself multiple times in his pathetic attempt at shaving, and he had missed a few light hairs.

His grey eyes widened in bewilderment, and he ran his hand across his neck. "Oh, I cut myself shaving" he said quickly "Anyway, I have an-".

"- looks like you did a poor job" Hermione muttered in vague interest.

"This is hardly important; there is a larger issue here!" He exclaimed in exasperation.

"You, know, next time, you should try standing about ten centimetres closer to the blade" Hermione smiled "it's much more effective" She walked around him and bee-lined for the fat lady.

"Hey, I ran after you in only my robe, it's totally embarrassing! Can't you just give me ten minutes!" he said angrily as she walked away.

"Oh, well, maybe you should slip into something more comfortable, like a coma?" Hermione suggested as the fat lady swung open.

"Granger, you can't ignore me forever, you know we have to figure this out!" he yelled after her as she climbed though the hole. The picture swung shut. Malfoy stood in the hallway breathing heavily.

"ARG!" he screamed throwing his toothbrush on the floor.

* * *

Hermione had exhausted most of her resources. This spell was something beyond her knowledge at Hogwarts. She sighed and rubbed her eyes, closing her thirty-fourth book and leading back against the couch.

The common room was empty, surprising for a Saturday night...well, it used to be surprising anyway. With less than twenty people left in the dorm, she could understand how the late night parties died. Just four years ago, she reminded herself, four years ago, in fourth year, things had been much simpler at this time. Fred and George would have been causing havoc right now, and she would have been running after them. Ron would still have been on Lavender's tail, Harry fretting over what now seemed to be a million trivial things.

Bernie Botts, chocolate frogs, and butterbeers...things she hadn't eaten in over a year. Food that seemed like it belonged to a totally different world. And how the room seemed so large now, ridiculously over furnished. Too many chairs, and tables, when there was no one to sit there. But, four years ago, it was impossible to get a good seat.

Well, things were different now, very different. Hermione had just received word that hers and Malfoy's parents were to have a meeting next week. An absolutely terrifying prospect for both of them. Hermione needed to find a solution to their _issue_ before then, otherwise, there would be more complications than possible to handle. But as fair as she could grasp, this was a different kind of magic. And ancient magic that just pulled forces already available into play. Nobody had created their hate, just had encouraged its physical manifestation. It would have been an extraordinary help to have known who did it, but Hermione didn't count on ever finding out. There were more than a few witches and wizards left over with that kind of power.

Hermione pulled herself off the floor and looked around the empty room again. As sad as the picture was, this place was all she had. She was too old to rely on her parents, and she had spent less time with them in the last ten years than she had here, this was her real home. What would leaving Hogwarts be like? Could she walk out those front doors and be at peace with the fact she no longer belonged here. In two months, she'd know.

* * *

Draco threw the book at the wall.

"Oooow" it said angrily.

Ridiculous, preposterous, completely, and totally, "stupid!" he muttered. Nothing in these books was going to help him lift this enchantment. And Granger was being absolutely unhelpful in the matter. Why couldn't she just listen to him, all he wanted was her help to fix this!

But, it was brainless of him to assume that Granger hadn't already looked for a solution in a book. That was what she was known for, her motto. Life throws you a curveball, head to the library! If Granger couldn't find anything, what hope did he have? And ever growing concern began to eat at him. Their parents had to meet next week. It was like an ominous black cloud over him, there were only two outcomes of that meeting, and either way, it meant one dead body. He sighed in frustration and dropped on the chaise lounge. Doomed, that was it; he was officially doomed to death, or a life with Granger. The former currently taking precedent.

* * *

"Cheer up"

"Sure, let me just take my magic potion, and I'll be as chipper as Bambi" Hermione muttered as she poked her toast.

"You know, I'm sure we could arrange that...if you needed that potion" Ron said seriously, leaning over the table towards her, a bit of jam dangling from the corner of his mouth. Hermione forced a smile.

"No, it wouldn't do any lasting good" she shrugged.

"So, what then?"

"I don't know. But I wish I had purchased life insurance earlier, I'd hate to leave my parents with the full cost of a funeral bill" she said sourly.

"Hermione, it won't come to that" Harry said sitting down next to her.

"Sure, how would you know?"

"Well, even if you give up, Malfoy has an incredibly strong survival instinct, as we've all seen" he said alluding to the small ditch Malfoy hid in for a month to escape Voldemort. "And his parent's will likely bail you two out of it anyway"

"Or, I could smother him with a pillow?" Hermione suggested.

"You'd have to wait until we're out of Hogwarts, you know it has that...um, that thing about it" Ron mumbled trying to slick the jam off his face. He missed and it fell from his lips onto his shirt.

"Ron, I've read _Hogwarts: A History_ over a hundred times. I'm well aware of the protective spells in the castle, plus, I wasn't being _totally_ serious" she added sourly handing him a tissue. Hermione sighed and looked back at her plate. She was positively miserable about the whole thing.

"Here comes your fiancé" Harry whispered across the table, his eyes flickering to the door.

Hermione looked up to see Malfoy striding into the hall with Blaise at his heels. Well, he didn't look in the least bit worried to her. They locked eyes for a moment, but Malfoy continued over to his table, thankfully.

"Wow, cold" Ron added in amusement.

"Nothing funny about that Ron" Hermione frowned.

"Nothing funny at all" Harry added.

* * *

"Granger"

"You know, every time you say my name like that, I feel like looking for the nearest window to jump out of" Hermione said snidely. He had waited for her to finish breakfast by the doors. And now Malfoy was here to make matters much worse.

"Please be my guest, you'd save the both of us a lot of grief if you died. Plus, you go out while people still remembered you as the smartest witch of our generation, and not Malfoy's wife" he replied coolly.

"Hardly, if anything, people would remember you as 'Granger's pathetic wimp of a husband, who is no good for her, because the smartest witch of our generation deserves someone who isn't so light headed'. Or something like that" she smiled.

"Sure" he sighed rolling his eyes "We have to figure out this parent thing _pronto_" Malfoy crossed his arms and lent against the wall, as though settling in for a long discussion.

"Nothing to figure out" Hermione shrugged.

"What?"

"Whoever walks out of there alive wins, simple as that. And I know my dad bought a new shotgun. I don't think wizards are impervious to lead" Hermione mused.

"It's not funny Granger. We have to resolve this, we have to work through this as an engaged couple, and as equals" he said seriously.

"Well, you must have an awful opinion of people if you consider us your equals" she laughed loudly, "Honestly, equals?"

"My opinion is not the issue! It's your stupid friend's scarhead, and weasel. They are making this harder for you and me" Malfoy said angrily, standing straight again.

"You know Malfoy, involving my friends in this isn't the best way to make me like you. It doesn't exactly make me swoon when you attempt to insult the most important people in my life" Hermione frowned.

"Well, I'm not trying to sex you up, last thing on my mind, really" Malfoy said scowling "I'm trying to resolve some of our issues"

"They have nothing to do with what is occurring between you and me, besides they spend their time carefully crafting their opinions of you. Ron, and Harry try to add as much vituperation in their comments as possible" Hermione said in rage. He was bleeding mad. This was not going to resolve any issue for them at all. How did he not get it? Their issues would never be resolved, Malfoy should just have given up by now. The whole thing was pointless.

"You spend all your time listening to them trash talk me, it's bound to cause you to be uncompromising with me" Malfoy said in a calculated manner, almost as though he had given this whole theory a lot of thought.

Hermione scoffed and laughed loudly. Harry and Ron had little influence with regards to how she felt about Malfoy. The annoyance and the wrath were all hers, they didn't create this burning hate, it was all Malfoy's doing. Why was he looking for scapegoats when he knew very well how this was going to turn out? "What do you want me to do about it?" Hermione asked sarcastically.

"I don't know, kill them?" he suggested casually.

"Malfoy, if I had to kill everyone who hated you, it wouldn't be murder, it would be genocide" Hermione smiled wryly.


	6. Scolded

**Chapter Six: Scolded**

**A/N: **I don't own Harry Potter.

* * *

"You _know _what I hate?"

"Conversations that start with a question?" Ginny muttered under her breath, though her words were still clear.

"No, Hermione, enlighten me" Harry sighed as he set down his history text on the table, and prepared himself for full attention span capacities. The common room had cleared out in the last hour, and it was just the four of them sitting around the fireplace, boring themselves on a Friday evening. Harry suddenly wished he had also gone to bed when the chance had been available.

"Rats" Hermione said with an affirmative nod.

Ron looked up from his Weekly Quidditch Chronicle with raised brows. "This is less peculiar than I imagined the conversation to be" he quipped surprised by the absurdity of Hermione's thoughts.

"Do you _know _what I hate about rats?" Hermione continued, clearly intent on delivering her speech regardless of others interests.

"You mean beside the fact that they're sickening, pongy, and carry a small zoo of transmittable diseases on their back?" Harry smiled wryly. He could imagine that if anybody else had been present for the start of this conversation, they would have been long gone by now. Sometimes, though never seriously, he missed the days when they spent having serious, life changing discussions about the world and their lives. Lately, everything seemed pointless, and lately, he was beginning to think that it made more sense than ever. Harry loved Hermione and Ron, but he was beginning to realize without the threat of evil in their lives, the three of them were far less interesting than he could have conceived.

"Well besides that, I can't stand their little rat _ways_" Hermione shuddered drawing Harry back into her monologue. She brought her hands to her cheeks and wiggled her nose in her best impression of a rat. "The way they crawl into any open hole and do whatever they have to for their own survival...and when they follow you around, it's vile! And I especially hate when they act like they're better than you, and even act really nice and understanding and give you cookies because it's like they're trying to buy out your friends so that when they decide to _Avada_ your arse you're all alone and helpless and then-"

"-Er, Hermione?" Harry interjected waving his hands in her face to get her attention, "I believe the subtext here is hastily becoming...uh _text_" he grimaced.

"Malfoy gave you cookies?" Ron asked his mouth gaping open as though he could taste them.

"Yeah. I mean who does he think he is, really? I mean...just what is he playing at?" she fumed "it's a trap, it must be".

"Giving you cookies?" Harry asked.

"Right" Hermione said.

"He's a mastermind" Ron smiled.

"I think when he gave you those cookies, he meant you give you the cookies" Ginny shrugged, slowly losing interest in the conversation and reverting her attention back to her nails.

"Or, maybe the cookies are the new international symbol for death? Maybe a human skull was too difficult to get his hands on" Ron chuckled, inciting laughter from both Ginny and Harry.

"Argh!" Hermione cried standing up violently. "You just don't get it, do you!" she groaned, and turned away walking up the stairs to her room.

Ron swallowed and looked from Ginny to Harry, the laughter turned into worried chuckles. Ron craned his neck around the corner of the stairwell to make sure Hermione was gone "it's getting better, right? I mean, this is better than it was last week..." he frowned.

"I think she's right though" Ginny interjected thoughtfully. "We _don't _understand. I mean, nobody else in this school was matched with someone they _hate_. But it's because I don't understand that I'm having trouble caring at this point. Honestly, it's begun to sound whiny, and Malfoy is suddenly looking more mature and reasonable in my eyes"

"Bringing new light to Hermione's paranoid rat theory" Ron interrupted.

"Well, their parents are meeting tomorrow at noon in greenhouse four...so we'll have to wait and see the results of that exchange" Harry reminded them nervously.

"It'll be a bloodbath" Ginny groaned slapping her forehead.

"And they still haven't solved the whole 'sexual tension' ordeal" Ron grinned as he creased the corner of his page and closed the magazine.

"Sexual tension doesn't usually kill you" Harry laughed bitterly.

"If you're me it can" Ron shrugged.

"I fear you" Ginny exhaled.

* * *

"So mate, what's the plan for tomorrow?" Blaise asked lounging on one of the long green chaise's in the Slytherin common room. The room was empty but for the two of them, everyone else had packed in strangely early for a Friday night. But, Blaise had the suspicion that most of the Slytherin students didn't want to be around Draco, who was a short fuse as any lately.

"The plan?" Draco asked looking up from his botany homework. "Um, the plan would be to keep our fathers from attacking one another and to probably avoiding touching Granger at any cost if I want to keep my general good health"

"I don't see why you find her so repulsive" Blaise muttered rolling over to his side and looking at Draco from across the table; the perfect uninterested look gracing his face.

"I don't find her repulsive" he mumbled in reply, "It's just that touching her will likely exterminate me...and I'm too youthful and handsome to depart this life" he scratched out a few words on his sheet of parchment. He needed to concentrate on this assignment; it weighed a quarter of his final grade. Granger was likely done, and it would likely be an O with a smiley witch stamp next to it. He hated plants, and preferred them dried and in jars for potions, not alive and dangerous and wailing. Draco hoped he would at least scrape by with an A.

"Then you find her attractive?" Blaise continued pressingly, clearly enjoying himself at the expense of his friend.

"Perhaps not her personality, but physically...sure. She's charming...in a common... _exceptionally_ well proportioned way" he murmured in annoyance.

"Bingo" Blaise grinned lying back down on the chaise.

* * *

Hermione stood in front of the doors to the great hall, arms crossed and her left foot tapping the stone floor in agitation. She cleared her throat and looked around the empty foyer. Where was Malfoy, it was nearing noon and they had specifically agreed to meet before their parents arrived, just to go over the specifics. The foyer was empty, and a few students were treating themselves to an early lunch, or late breakfast in the hall. The foyer was so empty, it was almost surreal. There were no students sitting on the stairs, milling about the door, or reading the board notices. Just cold clean stone, a hard light shining through the windows, causing the showering of dust from the ceiling to sparkle like snow. Surreal.

A couple of Ravenclaw's suddenly exited the great hall, causing Hermione to jump in surprise, and fail to notice Malfoy's entrance from her left.

...

"I'm here" Draco said breathlessly, he had run up a couple of flights in order to arrive on time. Being as preoccupied with the latest set of contradictory thoughts that plagued him, he hadn't noticed the time.

"Oh well jolly, because I thought Armageddon would occur if you hadn't arrived" Granger snapped back, actually snapping her fingers. He stared at her blankly. She was practically foaming at the mouth, and he wasn't even actually late. Nor had he done anything, which he knew of, that warranted such aggressiveness.

"Touchy today?" he asked raising his brows, and not reminding her that Armageddon was an actually possibility if he chose to be elsewhere at this pressing time.

"I just assumed your parents would at least teach you enough to know that you should arrive at the arranged time" Granger seethed.

"Oh button it. You're such a nark; I'm not late and the reason I am right on time is because my parents taught me well. Everything I am I _owe_ to my parents" he replied as calmly as he could. Granger was acting even ruder than normal; she was reaching new heights, or lows rather.

"Oh, well you should give them two pence and settle the debt. And I'm NOT a nark...you...you ponce" she stuttered, her voice cracking on the _not_. Draco frowned, ponce? He was not a ponce, no matter what the fifth years said. He had too much class for such lowly manners. And why had this suddenly turned into a name calling session? Instead of becoming more tolerant of each other, it felt as though they were regressing... infinitely. Like some ridiculous philosophical dilemma.

Granger was turning red in the face, and she was staring at him silently and in complete stillness, almost anyway. She was clearly nervous, he could see her finger tapping on her thigh, and her eyes kept darting to the door. He knew it was in both their best interests to let this little tiff slide. There were graver issues to worry about. In ten minutes their parents would be meeting them in front of the school, and he and Granger had no real plan to speak of. "So, what?"

"_What_ what?" she asked shortly.

"What is the grand plan? Or are we just going to swing this one?" he asked leaning against the wall.

"I don't know. I was just hoping you could control your father" she suggested.

"Certainly, if you can control yourself" Draco muttered.

Granger didn't reply, and Draco realized it was due to the fact that his parents were standing at the entrance doors. He cast a side eye in Granger's direction, and saw that her red face had suddenly become white. He also noticed that her hair was styled sleekly, and her dress new and crisp. She had dressed to impress. Still Granger.

Draco cleared his throat loudly to get her attention and began to walk towards his parents, she followed him two steps behind. Out of fear, or politeness, he didn't know.

"Mother, Father" he said with nod.

His mother was wide eyed and staring about thirty centimetres to his right. While his father was looking straight at him, intensely.

"Introduce us Draco" his father said demandingly.

"Mother, Father, this is Hermione Granger...you've met before" he added uncertainly. Not sure whether it was better to mention their previous meetings. As they weren't in the best of circumstances.

"Good day. Good to see you" Hermione said evenly, shaking his father's hand first, and then his mothers.

"Where are your parents dear?" his mother asked looking around curiously.

"Likely waiting outside" Granger replied.

Draco waited for his father to make a rude remark, but none came. It seemed his mother had wrung her hold over his father for the moment. And he was practicing the art of stony silence.

"Shall we head to the greenhouse?" Draco suggested ushering his parents out of the building and putting his hand near the small of Granger's back, but carefully not touching her.

* * *

Hermione cleared her throat awkwardly. Her mother was gazing at Malfoy as though he was a pair of shiny new shoes, and her father was adamantly keeping eye contact with Lucius Malfoy. A power struggle emerging over who could remain silent the longest.

"I think we should have the wedding at our manor" Narcissa suggested pointedly, in an attempt to break the tension "We have wonderful gardens and more than enough room to entertain all of the guests"

"That sounds nice" Hermione's mother agreed.

"And there's much else to be decided...about the wedding certainly, but also about what they'll do after they graduate" Narcissa added, "Where will they live?" she sighed as an afterthought.

Hermione remained silent, just as Malfoy, uncertain of whether she was meant to take part in this conversation. And worried that should she say anything she would ruin the delicate balance in place.

"We have a lovely two floor cottage in New Hampshire" her mother suggested "We hardly ever use it, and it's quite lovely, excellent for a young couple. You could come down on a weekend, and perhaps we could decorate it and prepare the space?"

"That sounds lovely" Naricssa agreed.

"You two really intend to marry?" Hermione's father finally spoke. He turned to look directly at Hermione.

"Well, it isn't really a choice. It's more of a duty...like being enlisted in the army" Hermione said as reasonably as she could.

"And there's no way out of this...this barbarous enforcement" he asked with a tremor in his voice.

"No, it's the way it has to be" Hermione replied clearly, she had to make them understand, that these wizard ways were not the same as muggle laws. Breaking a contract in the wizarding world wouldn't just cost a fine; it would often cost ones life.

"Unfortunately, we'll just have to make do with the circumstances we are presented with" Lucius Malfoy said looking across the table, but at no one in particular. "It is what it is. This is not what I had intended for my son, as I'm certain you had not imagined this end for your daughter, but there is no use questioning it. This is the way it must be" Hermione had the distinct impression that Lucius had exhausted all of his resources trying to null this marriage and had come up unsuccessful and bitterly resigned.

"Well, would anyone like fresh tea?" Hermione's mother asked looking around the table expectantly.

* * *

Hermione collapsed down on the grass a good few meters away from the Whomping Willow reach and groaned loudly. She was emotionally exhausted after that ordeal. She realized she had spent the whole hour with her teeth clenched and now her jaw ached and her head panged. She watched Malfoy sit down near her out of the corner of her eye. She hadn't expected to rid of him so easily after that meeting, in fact she was counting on a discussion.

"Granger, we need to solve the immediate issue. I'm worried, it's been a week, and I'm starting to think our deadline is arriving pretty closely. And if you can't hate me just a little less, we'll be worse off" he said carefully, and slowly, so as to make sure Hermione would comprehend. And she did. She had realized herself that too much time had passed, and whatever horrors would spring up weren't far away.

"What do we do?" she asked.

"Do you really hate me that much?" Malfoy asked evenly. She couldn't trace any emotion in his voice at all. It unsettled her.

"It's awkward when you say it like that. And it makes me seem like an awful person" Hermione frowned as she watched the willow attack a bird.

Malfoy shrugged, "It's not untrue, and it's pretty sad that you hate me more than I hate you. It ruins my perfect reputation of callousness"

Hermione clucked, "Wouldn't want that" she smiled, and then frowned.

"Try touching me" he said extending his hand towards her.

Hermione looked at him sceptically "If I hurt you, there's no way in hell I could drag you back to the castle..."

"You're a witch, you can levitate me" he said brushing her excuses off, and waving his hand in front of her face. Hermione smacked it away.

"Ouch" he muttered.

"Still hurts?" Hermione asked interestedly.

"It's hard to tell when you actually hit me...try to touch me without the intent of inflicting harm" he suggested.

Hermione quickly tapped his open palm with two fingers and waited, looking at his face anxiously for a sign. Nothing. She tried again by placing her hand flat on his for a few seconds more. "Nothing" he said in surprise. Hermione held his hand this time tightly, and waited for him to shriek in pain. "Not exactly comfortable, I feel a little queasy and warm, but not painful" he commented.

"So generally better" Hermione concluded.

"Generally" he added "Just try to not get to angry and it'll all be great"

"Until we have to..."she tapered off, realizing she's rather not think about what they'd have to do that far ahead.

"Until then" he said with a laugh.

"It isn't exactly funny" Hermione said coldly "It's awful to think of what's waiting...not humorous"

Malfoy turned around to face her, his face had fallen and he looked annoyed. "Well, maybe it damn well should be. In case you haven't noticed Granger, life isn't always peaches and cream. So you have to pick yourself up, paste things back together as best as you can and try to laugh at the small things" he stood up and loomed over her. "It's hard enough for me too without you making every single damn thing about this harder. If you laughed once in a while, and stopped complaining about the things you can't change you would see that everything isn't as dire or as awful as you think it is. _Because _Granger," he pointed at her "it isn't all about you. It's about me too, and about everyone one else too. So if you think you're the only one in pain, and misery, and your poor little life is about to kaput you are a miserable person. Stop feeling so blood sorry for yourself and get over it. Whatever is causing your Salazar-damn-you-all attitude, you need to embrace the hurt, write a poem, spank your inner moppet, and deal with it. Because if you act the same way around your friends as you do around me, they'll tire of you quickly, and won't take the next thing that comes out of your mouth seriously".

Hermione stared at him open mouthed. Her brain reeling at one hundred kilometers an hour. Malfoy began to walk away before she could think of a retort.

"Oh-" he called from behind her, "And don't forget to ask your doctor about that stick in your arse, maybe you can have it surgically removed"

Hermione stared straight ahead at the flailing tree, no word coming to her at all. No jibes or insults, no defensiveness or relfection of the issues, she was dumbfounded.

She had just been scolded.


	7. No, But Yer, But No

Chapter Seven: No, But Yer, But No.

**A/N:** I don't own any of the characters from the Harry Potter novels. I just play with them, and then return them when I'm bored.

Please review, I can't offer you anything if you do. But if you don't you will meet an untimely death. Probably at my hands. :)

* * *

"Must have been born on a highway, that's where most accidents happen" Hermione muttered as she placed a reference book back on the shelf. The library was empty but for her and a sleeping student sitting by the fire, who in fifteen minutes time she would have to steer out the door. Again, as per usual, she was complaining and whining about Malfoy, if only to herself. Though today had passed without major incident, Hermione still had annoyance to vent. Somehow, Malfoy had weaseled himself into the circle of her friends. "_Oh Ginerva, blab la bla_" she muttered to herself, doing her best imitation of Malfoy's charming voice. Even Harry was being abnormally cordial, doing what he thought was right for Hermione's sake. Still, there was always Ron to count on; he would never bend to Malfoy. She smiled in satisfaction knowing this much, and then her smile quickly slipped.

After the talk down she had gotten yesterday, Hermione needed to put a cap on her rampant thoughts. They weren't helping in the least, and sadly enough, it took Malfoy to show her that. As much as Hermione despised to admit it, it did seem that all of the negativity she released in the world came back at her tenfold, especially when she vented to Ron about anything. For Ron was always prepared to complain himself.

After a full week of hell, today had been a pretty tolerable day. She had even sat with Malfoy and picked linens, for the wedding their mothers were planning without them, during dinner. While Ginny had no problem giving her input on the passé colour of lilac, and Harry and Ron ignored them pointedly. Now, Hermione was finishing her day by volunteering in the library as honorary librarian. Madame Pince had never been found after the final battle, and since nobody was aware of her whereabouts, the library had fallen to disregard. Hermione had gladly taken on the role of librarian, she practically knew every book in the library, and was one of the few students who could work through the obscure and mathematics free cataloguing system. Hermione placed a tattered _Confronting the Faceless_ between _Don't Turn Around _and _Secrets to Surviving Sinister Sorcerer's. _ She had completed the nights work; all she had left to do was a sweep of the premises to make sure no students were left in the library, and no books lying around on the ground and tables.

"Up, up, go to your dorm before Filch get his manacles on you" Hermione said prodding the third year Hufflepuff awake. Filch was miserable due to Madame Pince's disappearance, as if he wasn't miserable enough already, but he had no problem using corporal punishment. Groggily the Hufflepuff stood and began to pack, the very real threat of Filch lighting a fire under his arse. Hermione looked around the common area, everything looked neat and clean. She watched the student walk out of the library, and then Hermione began to amble between the rows. She smiled remembering how as much younger versions of themselves she, Harry, and Ron would sneak into the library after close and _borrow_ books from the restricted section. There were no students who did that now. Hermione barely ever saw students in the library lately. Back in her fifth year, it had always been packed. Students even sitting on the floors in-between cases studying for their O.W.L's or N.E.W.T.'s, or generally worrying over their latest paper returned with a bright green 'T' stamped on it. Even with Madame Pince's constant _"Shhhhs" _there was always a buzz of hushed whispers, quill scratches, and pages being turned. Now, there was complete silence.

Hermione walked back to the main desk, she placed all the sign-out books back into their drawers, and with a wave of her wand turned off all the candle lights but a few. The door closed behind her with a familiar and solid thud. Hermione did not bother to lock it. It would have made her happier to know that somebody could enter the library whenever they wanted, though it had not happened yet.

* * *

She decided to take another sweep of the castle and make sure all of the younger students were in bed now. The eleven o'clock curfew had long since passed, and whoever was still out was in for a world of pain should Filch find them.

It wasn't technically part of Hermione's duties to make sure that there were no students in the halls, but she took it upon herself to help where she could. There were so few professors left at Hogwarts that simply up keeping the castle, and making sure certain tasks were completed was beginning to fall to disregard. So Hermione retained her head-girl status and did her best to keep Hogwarts the respectable academy it was.

She headed downstairs to the main floor, picking up a fallen quill from the stairs as she went. There were no ghosts roaming the halls, but she could hear Peeves singing from a distance...

"_Oh when I see you, you give me a face-ache,_

_But it's your phizog I'd like to break. _

_Some come on over, I'll give you a trip, _

_Shuffle you features, and give it a fix!" _

Hermione rolled her eyes and continued past the great hall, walking at a good distance from the suits of armour, which had on occasion proved to be frisky. Peeve's lyrical styling's continued on behind her, growing quieter. Yeats had nothing on his ability to emote. A breeze flew past her ankles, causing her robes to ruffle. Hermione turned around and noticed that the front door was open a crack. She walked over to it and placed her hand on the door to shut it, wondering if a student had left the building after hours. But Hermione didn't close the door, she stood there hand on the door listening..._'elp...' _Hermione swallowed. _'elp me...omody...' _The wind was raging outside. Hermione was imagining things. Or so she hoped. If some first year had been foolish enough to head outside at this time...into the forest...no, only she Harry and Ron had been foolish enough to do such things.

"_HELP ME!" _

When she heard the obvious cry, Hermione just about went arse over kettle. She grabbed the door and pulled it open, looking out onto the grounds. This, she had not imagined. Hermione could see no dark shapes anywhere. The wind continued to blow, pulling her further outside.

"_Please..."_

Her flesh rippled, Hermione couldn't mistake that voice even with the distortion of the wind. She walked further away from the door, taking a good look around. She began to walk down the path past the Herbology buildings, and towards the Whomping Willow, from where she thought the cries originated. She heard a yell again, to her right. The surface of the water was rippling, he was in the lake.

"Toss-pot" she muttered running down the steps three at a time towards the lake. "What are you doing, get out of the water!" she yelled as she came right to the edge of the lake.

Malfoy was bobbing at least fifteen meters out in the water. _"-an't...immm"_

"What?" Hermione cried furiously, stomping her left foot on the ground.

"_I can't, -wim"_ he gurgled, swallowing water. His arms were flailing above his head frantically.

"Yes, but of course. Why don't you pull the other one?" she screeched in disbelief. How could he not swim? Wasn't that a skill all people should have succeeded by now? A wizard who couldn't swim, it seemed absurd, where was his wand?

He went under. Hermione waited for him to resurface, but he didn't. She couldn't wait much longer. He didn't have any time left, there wasn't any time to think about what Malfoy was doing in the water at this time, or how she would get him out; her only instinct was to jump in there. Hermione ripped off her cloak, tucked her wand into her skirt waistband and jumped. The water was very cold, even though it was already May. She choked out a _"Lumos"_ and her wand lit brightly. Thankfully it didn't seem as though Malfoy had been out too deep. Hermione wouldn't have been able to fight off any water dwellers while dragging him back to the surface. There was nothing but darkness around her, the lake floor too deep down for the light from her wand to penetrate. She broke the surface and looked around. She was well into the lake, but Malfoy hadn't surfaced. Hermione dived back down, wishing now she could remember that stupid bubble head spell, but the words escaped her. A few meters ahead she saw a dark shape, suspended in the water, neither sinking nor floating. Hermione grabbed Malfoy's shirt with her other hand and kicked up. Suddenly, all she was holding was the shirt. It had slipped off over his head. Hermione looked down to see him sinking again.

She was running out of air and energy. This had to be a onetime possibility, if she let him go a second time; they were both as good as dead. Hermione swam deeper; she hooked her arm around Malfoy's neck in the same way she had been taught as a nine year old during swimming lessons and kicked up. Her muscles and lungs burned with the exertion. Hermione was not an overly physical girl, she did not consider herself strong, and this was more than she had even handled physically. _If it was at all believable_. Malfoy was heavy, combined with the layers of wet clothing they were both wearing; it felt as though Hermione was dragging a sleeping Fang behind her.

Finally she gasped and inhaled fresh air. Hermione flipped over on her back and dragged Malfoy up, facing him towards the surface. It only took a total of eleven strokes to reach the bank. Not as far away as Hermione had suspected the edge to be. She dragged Malfoy shirtless up the bank by the arms and dropped him on the grass. She could hear the Crups chained by Hagrid's cottage barking loudly, she felt relieved for the moment. "Just what were you thinking" Hermione gasped down at him.

She dropped to her knees beside him and hovered her cheek over his face. He wasn't breathing. "_Eneverate_" she muttered pointing her wand at his chest. His body lurched, but his eyes did not open.

'_Oh no' _Hermione thought '_no way in hell am I going to do that'_. "Come on Malfoy" she muttered opening his mouth and looking inside. Hermione frowned; she began to compress his chest, forcing his lungs to move. After fifteen, Hermione realized it wasn't going to do any good. She needed to about this the old fashioned way. She sighed and pinched his nose. Hermione took a deep breath and blew deep into his mouth; as few of these as she had to do, the better. "Come on" she muttered, another deep breath. How long had it been since he'd been in the water? Hermione had no idea of the time.

"One more" she said, more to herself than him. Hermione breathed deeply into Malfoy again, the sudden rush of water that flew into her mouth startled her. She spluttered and turned away coughing. Disgusting Malfoy backwash. Malfoy had turned to his side and was heaving, probably vomiting. She sat back on the grass patiently and waited for him to regain his senses.

"What...why" he gasped trying to speak.

"You tell me" Hermione muttered. Angry, but strangely relieved he wasn't dead.

"I was just going to my room...and, I put down my wand for a moment...Then I was in the water, I don't know" he whispered hoarsely. And Hermione believed him. Malfoy had really been through the ringer. He was paler than usual, and his eyes were rimmed with red.

"You can't swim?" Hermione asked him.

He just shook his head.

"Come on" she said standing; she pulled his arm, helping him up.

"What happened to my shirt?" he mused looking down at his bare chest.

"Yeah, that's gone" Hermione sighed tiredly.

"You didn't let me die" he continued, apparently bemused with his current situation.

"Why would I?" Hermione asked frowning.

"I don't know...maybe because then you could cross off number one on Granger's list of _'10 things to accomplish before I'm thirty' _"he concluded looking towards the friendly lights of the castle. Longing as much as Hermione seemed to be for some warmth and maybe soup from the kitchens house elves.

"Sound as a pound" Hermione retorted, still supporting his weight as he feebly shuffled beside her.

"So why did you, jump in after me?"

Hermione rolled her eyes and sighed, "It was the right thing to do. I'm not an awful person, and there's a difference between killing you and letting you die. If I just let you die, I won't have the personal satisfaction of knowing I did it all my own" she explained sarcastically.

Malfoy didn't reply. Hermione chanced a look at him, he looked weary, but he was smiling. Perhaps the lack of oxygen to his brain had affected him. Should she take him to Madame Pomfrey, was there anything she could give him besides a Pepper-up-Potion? Hermione faced forward again.

"_Stop giving me the evils_" Malfoy said in his poor attempt at a Vicky Pollard imitation. Hermione gawped at him.

"Awful, just awful" she frowned shaking her head, "And since when do purebloods own televisions, and watch comedies?"

"They can, as long as their all-things-muggle-hating father's never find out" he smiled half-heartedly.

Hermione scowled, he was being awfully chipper for someone who almost died. "I've never been to the Slytherin common room, you'll have to explain to me how to get there" she said as she pulled open the entrance door and they shuffled in.

"Can't you magic me a cot, I'll just sleep here" he suggested seriously.

"Yes, and terrify the first years so early in the morning. I think not" Hermione turned towards the staircase heading down to the potion labs.

"How do you know you're going the right way?"

"Am I wrong?"

"No" Malfoy admitted.

The continued down the long hallway, and down another set of stairs. Coming to a long dark hallway with green enchanted candles, that made Hermione feel as though they were back underwater. Malfoy suddenly lurched to a stop, Hermione looked around for the portrait guardian. "Wolfsbane" Malfoy muttered to the wall. And it swung back to reveal a large room. No portrait then.

The Slytherin common room was much larger than the Gryffindor common room, and was mostly circular. Intricate columns surrounded all the doors around the room, the ceiling a large carved dome. The floor looked hard, polished stone or marble. And the overall effect was very cold. The fireplace was not lit, and the black couches and green lighting cast an icy shadow over the area. She walked carefully down the steps and dropped Malfoy on one of the leather couches. "_Incendio_" Hermione said pointing her wand at the fireplace. A strong red fire immediately burst to life, giving the room a warmer feel. "Why is everything so green here?" she muttered.

"We're under the lake" Malfoy replied quietly.

Hermione's eyes widened in shock. That would explain why the common room was so deep under the ground. They went down at least five flights of stairs to get here. Hermione shivered violently, she didn't want to be anywhere near the lake, let alone under the damned thing.

"Are you going to be alright? You should go and change into some clean cloths and get some sleep. It wouldn't hurt to go up to the hospital wing tomorrow either" Hermione said sniffling, wrapping her arms around herself. Malfoy groaned and sat up.

"I'll be fine...thanks" he added uncertainly.

"Yeah, sure" Hermione muttered. She turned and walked sharpish out of the common room.

* * *

Hermione collapsed on her bed tiredly. Her whole body ached. It was now nearing one, and she had class at nine tomorrow...if she wasn't Hermione Granger, she would have played hooky. Perhaps if she was sick in the morning, she would just stay in bed, even if it was wrong. Hermione pulled the sheets up to her chin and exhaled deeply. Reaching over to turn off her lamp, Hermione only then realized that there was an envelope on top of her book. She sat up in bed, taking the envelope into both of her hands. It said nothing but her name. Gently she opened it and pulled out the letter,

_Congratulations Ms Granger,_

_I would like to inform you that you have completed the first task to your ministry marriage training before the deadline of May the ninth_.

"Which is tomorrow, how incredibly lucky of me" Hermione muttered bitterly.

_The next assignment begins tomorrow, and you have five days to complete it. If you succeed in the allotted time the third assignment will be an optional matter. We at the __Marriage Law and Contract Law Department in the Ministry of Magic sincerely wish you the best, and hope that you continue to take this training seriously. It is for the benefit of our society and well-being and will ultimately benefit you as well. We ask for your continued support in this ministry endeavour, and that if you have any questions or concerns, they can be mailed to your bookkeeper Nancy McKinnon. _

_Sincerely, _

_Oliver Keaton (Of the Marriage Law and Contract Law Department in the Ministry of Magic)_

Hermione read the owl three times over before coming to the conclusion that Mr. Keaton never once alluded to what the first assignment was, nor what the second one entailed. This was preposterous, how could she possibly be expected to complete tasks without knowing what they were. It was like walking blindly in the dungeons, hoping you could find the correct door leading upstairs, but never knowing when you'd find yourself somewhere dangerous. Hermione set the letter back on her nightstand. First thing tomorrow she would send Nancy and owl, demanding to know what the next assignment was.

For now, Hermione was wondering about what the first assignment had been. Had it simply been to save Malfoy from drowning? It seemed obvious that that little excursion had been ministry orchestrated. But it was also obvious that Hermione would save him, she wouldn't have let him drown. The only person she would have let that happen to would have been Voldemort, and he hadn't actually been a person. Hermione imagined Voldemort floundering in the water, unable to swim, and it brought a smile to her face. Still, the whole ordeal worried her. There was something else there that she had or hadn't done, that didn't have anything to do with Malfoy's drowning. It couldn't have been that easy, if it was, then there was no point to any of these tests. It bothered her beyond sanities capacity to not know what was actually occurring.

First thing tomorrow, that owl needed to go out.

* * *

"Mate, a letter for you" Blaise said waving an envelope in front of Draco.

"What is it?" Draco muttered waving Blaise's hand away. He wasn't in the mood for games; he was in the mood for sleep, and now. "Why are you still awake anyway, it's after one" he grumbled.

"Just made my way back from the Ravenclaw prefect's room" Blaise grinned sheepishly.

"I'm sure Millicent will love that" Draco laughed.

"She doesn't need to know about my extracurricular activities. Beside, don't act as though you don't have a bit on the side" Blaise smiled lying down on his bunk.

"I'm a one woman kind of man" Draco shrugged as he opened his letter.

"Blimey, I know Granger's a dish. But she has you on a leash; does she feed you kibbles and bits too?" Blaise laughed clutching his sides.

Draco didn't respond, he was reading his letter. When he had completed it, he placed it back into the envelope and dropped it in his bedside table drawer. "No, she feeds me on other things, nourishment you'll never take willingly from Millicent. Shame, she's so giving that girl" Draco smirked.

"Oh please" Blaise said offhandedly, "I don't believe you're getting anything from Granger but beatings...unless that's your new thing. Because, I won't judge"

Draco grimaced, "Hardly, we were wrapped around each other earlier, real wet moment" he suggested fixing his sheets around him. It hadn't been a total lie.

"I'll believe it when I see it" Blaise grinned turning off the light.

"You and the whole world" Draco sighed, turning to his side and thinking about the contents of the letter, and what a fantastic clusterfuck he now found himself in.


	8. All Over Town

Chapter Eight: All Over Town

A/N: I don't own Harry Potter.

* * *

"He's just a big girls blouse Hermione. You know that already…so take advantage of it" Ginny grinned waving her fork in Hermione's face, and throwing egg left and right.

"What advantage?" Hermione mumbled, picking eggs off her shirt "there aren't many advantages in this arrangement".

Today was going to be a hell of a day, and if this egg left a stain Hermione would go barmy. This was the nicest blouse she owned. "_Succo_" she said siphoning off the little bit of grease left over.

"Oh yes, because that would be great for Moine's reputation. The money swindler, that is _well_ bad" Ron scoffed loudly "Just another spot on her otherwise gleaming record".

"Money swindler is it?" Hermione frowned glaring in Ron's direction "Another spot on my record is it? What are you implying Ron? Do you have something to say to me?"

"It's not swindling if you're married, and especially if it's gifts," Ginny said indignantly, ignoring Hermione's growing agitation. Ron glowered back at Ginny, also ignoring Hermione. "Right Harry?" Ginny asked.

Harry looked up from his plate, preoccupied in his own thoughts. "I reckon" he said dismissively, perhaps not even sure of the topic in discussion.

Ginny looked smugly at Hermione, the latter who was turning red in the face. "You should have fun. Honestly, being Malfoy's spouse is certain to have its privileges…and you may not have to spend as much time with him as you think. Especially once you're married…you'll be working…so mostly evenings, maybe weekends…"

"That's not the point Ginny" Hermione sputtered sighed dropping her fork onto her plate, the point was that getting married was probably going to be the easiest thing ahead of them, but Hermione wasn't about to admit it. "Just halt with all of this backseat driving. Brake, put the car in park, and get over it. The whole lot of you… well, except Harry. But you two" Hermione accused pointing at Ginny and Ron, "Are supposed to be making it easier for me. Not harder! What happened to all your supportive malarkey? I preferred that to this criticizing and nagging"

"It's not criticizing" Ginny muttered crossing her arms.

"Well what is it then? Just don't give me your opinions please, on anything. Unless I ask for it. No! Even if I should ask for your opinion, don't give it to me" Hermione hissed.

"Stressed much mate" Ron muttered biting into his muffin.

"Yes, yes I am. Very stressed. Since you have forgotten, let me remind you Ronald. I have a date with Malfoy's mother today. So pardon me if I'm a little stressed" Hermione added, only growing more annoyed.

"Blimey, sorry Mione" Ron said looking away.

"Don't have to bite my head off" Ginny frowned "But honestly, what's the problem. It's just Malfoy's mother. If you can handle Malfoy, you can handle his mother. It's not like you have to impress her"

"You don't understand…while I'm impartial to Malfoy generally…I feel _apologetic_ towards his mother" All three abruptly gawked at her, bewildered. Hermione frowned and crossed her arms protectively "And my mother for that reason; both women, who are euphoric about what's about to happen between their only children. And I'm not sharing that enthusiasm. I have to go dress shopping today with Mrs. Malfoy. And I don't know how to even pretend I'm excited"

"Why does it matter if you're excited or not? I doubt Malfoy is acting like roses for your mum and dad" Ron jeered loudly.

"Well, it's not like you'd understand, and you're dead wrong. Nobody has to impress your- never mind" Hermione said brusquely "I've just had some time to think about this and mellow out the situation. As unfair as this is to Malfoy and me it's just as unfair to our parents. I know my mother is overwrought with joy, but she's saddened by my misery. I think his mum likely feels the same," Hermione explained shortly, so that Ron could understand.

_This_ was partially true, but the real worry was that she now only had four days to complete the next mission with no idea of what it was. Yesterday she had sent the owl to the ministry, only to receive a bizarre and ambiguous reply that didn't explain anything. And on the same day receiving a request from Malfoy's mother to go dress shopping. Hermione naturally put two and two together and came to the conclusion that the task had something to do with being around Malfoy's mother. This logic came about due to the unbelievable convenience of the task and invitation occurring at the same time, as well as the impossibility that Malfoy's mother would want to shop for a dress let alone give Hermione an opportunity to choose it. And so, the pressure had steadily mounted over the last day. She needed to be extraordinary and charming today, she had to make Malfoy's mother smitten with her if she wanted to get this task completed. Malfoy, it seemed, had no indication of what she was going to do today, since he had made no mention of it all day yesterday.

Hermione drank her juice and looked at her watch. She had an hour before she needed to meet Mrs. Malfoy down at the train station in Hogsmeade. Just enough time to go and double check her appearance in the dorm and walk down. She stood and looked from Ginny to Harry to Ron meaningfully.

"Good luck Mione" Ron said swallowing a mouthful of bacon.

"You'll do great. It'll be perfect" Ginny assure with a nod.

"Yes, I reckon so" Harry said, not even looking up from his plate.

"I'm off" Hermione said walking away.

"Merlin she's touchy" Ron muttered as Hermione walked away. "It's not like she's the only one with a mother to impress, or their own to deal with"

"I reckon" Harry repeated.

* * *

"It's okay, it's perfectly okay. It's a beautiful day…la di da" Hermione murmured walking past the Whomping Willow and out of the school gates. She checked her skirt again, smoothing it down over her thighs with her sweaty palms. Narcissa Malfoy made Hermione incredibly nervous, and Hermione wasn't so sure she would be able to keep her breakfast down when they met. A part of Hermione was terrified of the woman, knowing all of the horrible things she was capable of. The other part of Hermione just wanted to impress her fiancés mother. It was a sickening combination that only occurred in do-gooders like Hermione and Percy Weasley.

Hermione could see the train station from a hundred meters away, but there was nobody waiting on or near it. She checked her watch, there was still fifteen minutes left. 'Just be calm' she chanted to herself. But being calm was easier to do when she was alone, how well would her mantra work in Narcissa Malfoy's presence. Just thinking about the woman's cold arrogance made Hermione break out in another strong sweat.

"Blimey!" Hermione gasped. It hadn't fully occurred to her that they were going dress shopping. Wedding dress shopping. What if Narcissa criticized Hermione's body, what if she called her fat, and told her she needed to lose weight because she resembled a killer whale? Suddenly, that second croissant seemed like a poor idea.

No, Narcissa Malfoy wasn't so untactful. Though she may think such things, Hermione actually doubted they would be voiced. Likely Narcissa would find clever ways to starve Hermione before the wedding. It was expected that in some cases the mother in law would be unbearable in a habitual controlling way. But Hermione knew that there was nothing normal about this marriage, and that anything considered normal in a muggle marriage would only be infinitely fiercer in a magical marriage. She was only twenty meters away from the station now. To her left Hogsmeade was bustling with people doing errands or older students walking about. Hermione would rather be with them.

"Ah, hello Hermione"

Hermione stopped in her tracks rigid as a board.

"H-hello Mrs. Malfoy" she stammered, noticing Narcissa Malfoy standing before her. How had she sprung up so quickly and silently? Hermione gazed up into her beautiful and collected face. Narcissa was wearing muggle attire, very pretty muggle attire. A light blue dress that matched her eyes, a lovely cream cardigan, and a muggle bag of which the price could purchase a modest car. All together, the effect made Hermione's outfit seem drab and shabby in comparison.

"Call me Narcissa. I am your mother in law, but I'm not nearly old enough to be referred to by my married name" she laughed. Hermione could see how she felt that way.

"Sure" Hermione agreed.

"How have you been dear? Getting along with Draco?" she asked lightly.

"Oh, yes, of course" Hermione said quickly, thinking back on the consistent bickering between them. But it wouldn't do well to raise alarms with Malfoy's mum. Hermione needed to seem like the golden one in the pair.

"Working through that marriage course without problem?" Narcissa questioned, her left eyebrow rising.

"Absolutely without a hitch" Hermione assured her, throwing in a smile for good measure. Of course, if it were otherwise, she and Malfoy would likely be dead instead.

"Glad to hear it" Narcissa said, smiling back. It seemed to light up her face, and make it gentler. Hermione relaxed slightly.

"I've made an appointment for us in downtown London at a most fabulous salon" Narcissa said, beginning to walk back up the train platform. Hermione followed her quickly, trying to match their strides.

"A muggle shop?" she asked curiously.

"Of course not!" Narcissa exclaimed. No, of course not. "Well, she does sell to muggles and witches alike, due to the variety of designers she carries, and I suppose it's good for business. But it's an exclusive clientele, no riffraff or undignified persons. Plus, she has to carefully divide the magical...and non-magical customers, for some of the dress designes are likely unimaginable for muggles"

Hermione just nodded. Of course, wherever they were going, it wouldn't be cheap, and it may be tacky. Hermione wasn't too worried about the price. She had a modest savings, as well as the ministry award she was given, more than enough money to keep her alive for the rest of her life. But a good seven years portion would probably be spent on this dress.

"I see" Hermione said.

"Come then, we're apparating. Best not be late for our appointment. It wouldn't be in good taste," Narcissa said grabbing Hermione's arm. And before Hermione could brace herself, she felt the suction sensation surround her. A moment later they landed in a small cobbled lane. Out on the main street it was a thick swarm of shoppers, making their sudden appearance completely unnoticed.

"This way dear" Narcissa said, beginning to walk away. Again, Hermione was following her, unable to keep up with the woman's long legs. They walked towards the end of the alley, which led to a dead end, and away from the bustle of the street. Narcissa stopped abruptly and knocked on a door that had appeared in the wall, as things often did in the magical world.

The door opened slowly, "Appointment?" a female voice asked.

"Narcissa Malfoy, bride; Hermione Granger"

"Please, come in" the door opened wider and Narcissa entered without hesitation.

"Come on then Hermione" she said without looking back. Hermione walked up to the door and stepped in. It closed behind her. Hermione turned to face a young girl in a pink apron standing by the door.

"Can I take your coats and bags?" she asked softly.

"Yes" Narcissa said absentmindedly, practically throwing her cardigan and bag at the girl. Hermione handed her purse over as well, though in a more gentle fashion. "May we head upstairs?"

"Certainly" the girl said with a bow stepping away.

Hermione looked around. They were in a small circular foyer that only had two doors, the one from which they entered, and another at the opposite end. One set of stairs was to their left; Hermione assumed their destination was in that direction. Again, Narcissa began to move without her. The whole area was a strange combination of pink and eggshell. Marble flooring, heavy wainscoting, and a strong floral design told Hermione this was not a place she would have ever entered of her own will. She grudgingly began to move upstairs, following Malfoy's mother. 'Smile Hermione' she reminded herself.

Hermione wondered if muggles entered from the same entrance they came, or if they came from the main street. Knowing Narcissa, their entrance was probably exclusive.

Upstairs was another larger, circular room, with many more doors, and many dresses all on racks around the room. In the middle of the room was a seating area with magazine and a tea set. A giant mirror curved along half the circular wall. Hermione cautiously followed Narcissa to the middle of the room. There was a dress near the mirror on a doll, it was covered in pins and double-sided tape, being altered. It was also very ugly, it looked like something Pansy Parkinson would have chosen. It may as well have been hers for all Hermione knew.

"Do you like that one?" Narcissa asked pointing at it.

"Uh" Hermione grimaced. "I don't want to have the same one as anybody else" Hermione said slyly.

"Of course, you're right. A Malfoy bride should never wear a copy," Narcissa agreed.

"Where is Emeralda?" she added in annoyance looking around the room. Hermione said nothing; instead she sat on the far end of the couch and placed her hands in her lap. Narcissa began to move around the room, pulling down dresses from the racks and throwing them over a pink armchair sitting next to Hermione.

Occasionally she would ask Hermione on her opinion on a dress. Mostly Hermione would reply with 'It's lovely' or 'I'm not so sure'.

"What about this one?"

'This one' was large, glistening, and had papier-mâché butterflies all along the bottom. "Uh…I…don't feel very strongly about it" Hermione said softly.

"Me neither" Narcissa said with a grimace placing it back on the rack.

Finally, a door to the left opened, and the woman who must have been Emeralda entered the room. She was small, distinctly pink, with a large bun hairstyle. A tape measure hung over her shoulder and she carried a plush cauldron in her hand stuck full of pins. "Sorry Narcissa, had a nasty little witch who wanted a discount" Emeralda sighed tiredly, "had to talk her down from thirty gallons to five".

"How distasteful" Narcissa shuddered.

"This the bride?" Emeralda asked, fixing her gaze on Hermione. Hermione stiffened. "You never said Draco was marrying Hermione Granger"

"It doesn't matter" Narcissa said quickly.

"Well, pretty girl. And likely a good bit smarter than your Draco. Could be a good match" Emeralda said to no one in particular, "Stand up dearie, let's have you measured" she said briskly, walking over to the mirror.

Hermione stood and marched over, wondering what Malfoy's mother meant by it not mattering if she was to be Malfoy's wife. Hermione was certain it was an insult of some sort. Narcissa actually being as accepting as she pretended to be was too good to be true. She stepped on the small pink podium before the mirror. Emeralda was pulling different tape measures out of pockets. Hermione wondered how the small woman would reach to measure her. But then again, Emeralda was likely a witch. Sure enough, once she had found the tool she had been looking for Emeralda took out her wand. With a flourish of the hand, the tape measure began to quickly wind around Hermione, sometimes tightening a little much, and clearly taking the wrong size. "Good, any ideas what we're going to try? Have you taken a look at any of the dresses? Anything you've taken a fancy to?"

Narcissa cleared her throat, "I've taken down a couple Emeralda" she said motioning to the huge pile on the chair "I thought we could begin with these" Emeralda didn't look surprised enough to Hermione, but perhaps the small seamstress had to deal with this type of customer more regularly that Hermione thought.

"Number one" Emeralda said walking over and grabbing the first dress. Hermione stopped herself from grimacing, Narcissa had clearly picked this dress while she wasn't looking.

"Come on then, into the fitting room" she sighed pulling back a curtain Hermione hadn't even noticed between the racks of dresses. Quickly she walked behind the curtain. "Don't look so worried dear, try and enjoy it. You only get married once," the little lady said as she hung the dress on the wall. "If you're lucky"

Hermione undressed quickly, and stepped into the gown. Emeralda moved behind her to do it up. "Ohhh" Hermione exhaled as the zipper flew up.

"Tight enough"

"Oh, yes" Hermione wheezed. She hoped her internal organs did not explode from the pressure.

"Let's take a look then" Emeralda said throwing the curtain open.

Hermione tottered, for the weight of the dress made it difficult to walk normally, over to the mirror. When she had stepped on the platform, she looked at herself. "AHHH!" she gasped.

"Beautiful? Right?" Emeralda smiled.

"Gorgeous" Narcissa said calmly coming to stand next to Hermione.

"Uh…uh…"Hermione stuttered.

The dress…looked like a deranged snow globe. The top was fine enough, but the skirt…unicorns danced along the fabric, and tufts of cloud, or cotton stuck out from the pleats. It was too much to look at; it was mesmerizing in the worst way possible. Malfoy would never let her forget it if she walked down the aisle in this.

"How do you like it dear?" Emeralda asked kindly.

"It's…a little strong" Hermione said softly.

"I do find the unicorns a little vulgar, it isn't exactly the theme of the wedding" Narcissa added pulling at the fabric of the skirt "looked nicer on the hanger".

'Would look nice in the fireplace" Hermione thought. The realization hit her "What is the theme of the wedding?" she asked uncertainly.

"Old glory days of wizards. The wonderful fifties. Jazz music, romance, billowy robes in pastels…" Narcissa sighed dreamily.

"Right" Hermione exhaled, looking at the dress again.

"Well, let's try number two" Emeralda suggested.

Number two and three were no better. For a lady as sophisticated as Narcissa Malfoy, her choice in dresses was questionable. That, or she was just doing it to have a laugh at Hermione. It would have been nicer if her own mother were here. Hermione could have used the support of a friendly face. Even though she wasn't going to have to romantic love of her life that Hermione had always desired, and she had no reason to enjoy the things happening…she still wanted to have the dress. It would make her feel better to know that even if she didn't love Malfoy, she loved her dress.

Dress number four had incredible fanned sleeves that stood all on their own and reminded Hermione of wings. After clipping Malfoy's mother in the face with one of these sleeves accidently, the dress was quickly written off.

Number five wasn't too awful, but it showcased Hermione's absolute lack of cleavage, and for that reason was also thrown into the rejection pile. Six was a frosted cake, and seven looked like a nuns habit. Eight was almost right, but Narcissa found it too plain, for it lacked live birds and goblin diamonds, and likely wasn't expensive enough for her tastes.

Hermione was beginning to get very hot and tired. It was a lot of work just trying the dresses on, and despite herself she was getting frustrated. "OW! Watch where you're sticking that pin!" she snapped at Emeralda as they pulled on dress number nine.

"Sorry love" Emeralda muttered, "I'm just getting a bit tired. And I can tell you are too. Don't worry, I'm sure we'll find something. If it's too much today, we can make another appointment"

Hermione looked down at the dress. "I don't even want to go out in this one" she cried loudly "It's awful…" the dress was like the planetary system, with white orbs floating about the skirt. Hermione was loosing it, and quickly. Her calm and elegance was draining out of her, and soon she would be bawling on the ground.

"Why don't you pick one?" Emeralda suggested quickly, sensing the typical bridal meltdown, and trying to avert Hermione attention away from the hideous dress.

Hermione drew back the curtain roughly and looked around the room with watery eyes. Narcissa was falling asleep on the couch, surrounded by dresses. Hermione walked over to the first rack and dived in. She looked as sensibly as she could at the dresses on the racks. She wanted to choose carefully, the less left to try on, the better. Though she had tried at least a dozen dresses, the racks were still bursting with white taffeta and silk.

"This one" Hermione sighed pulling out a glossy light dress from the pile. It wasn't extraordinary, but it looked nice, and it was a change of pace from all of the other bollock she'd already tried on. Maybe she wouldn't have _her_ dress either, but she wouldn't look like a cake on her wedding day.

"That's nice" Narcissa said unenthusiastically, then yawned. Clearly she was tired, but Hermione was as well. Malfoy's mum was beginning to be unhelpful, and more of a hindrance than Hermione expected. She had hoped that having Narcissa around would make the process painless and efficient, not so drawn out.

Hermione began pulling off the orbital dress before even reaching the fitting room. She just wanted something to work already. At this point she wouldn't mind getting married in her Hogwarts robes if that was what it took to get out of this store.

The dress, number eleven or whatever, went on easy enough. "It's okay, I like it" Hermione exhaled in relief. Nothing flew out from the bodice, the straps didn't sing, no unicorn floated along the skirt, definite improvement.

The dress was a loose satin, the neck was a boat cut, which hid the assets Hermione lacked, thankfully. Sleeveless and droopy low in the back, with light thin layers, it was comfortable. No ribbing, no lace, no belts, nothing constricting. Hermione would do whatever it took to convince Narcissa this was the one. If she had to try on another dress, she would go mental.

"I want this one" Hermione said as assuredly as she could walking over to the mirror.

"Are you certain?" Narcissa said, suddenly waking from her reverie "we've barely tried any on"

"I'm sure," Hermione said, thinking that she'd been the only one trying them on anyway.

"It's rather plain though" Narcissa frowned.

"Well, the ones you picked weren't exactly of the classy variety. Just because it's a song and dance doesn't always make it beautiful" Emeralda said, adjusting the layers on Hermione's dress.

"Perhaps Hermione just can't pull off such strong dresses, it's not down to the dress" Narcissa suggested.

"Ah, come off it. Nobody can pull off those dresses. Girls just think they can, and that's why I sell 'em. Just take the shame Narcissa. Those were some poor choices"

"Well, can't we add something?" she asked Emeralda haughtily. Hermione was beginning to feel awkward. These two women clearly had no problems letting their feelings about one another be known. It was interesting to see someone talk back to Malfoy's mother in unconcerned way.

"Like?" Emeralda said raising her brows.

"Something sparkly"

"A tiara?"

"No, I have one that my mother passed on to me…I was thinking directly on the dress" Narcissa smiled.

"No, I like it as is" Hermione added assertively. As the minutes went by she liked this dress more and more. Or, she hated the other ones more and more. "I don't want anything added to it, it's lovely as is"

Narcissa frowned at Hermione. She walked over and looked at the dress carefully, pulling apart the layers of thin fabric, looking at the stitching, and then she sighed. "If this is the one you like, then let's get this one" Narcissa relented finally. Her own exhaustion likely overtaking the importance of a grandiose dress.

Hermione smiled brightly for the first time that day.

"It's a wonderful choice, the unicorn hair really gives it that light as air effect. But it'll never rip" Emeralda added placing a veil on Hermione's head.

"Unicorn hair?" Hermione gasped in horror.

"Perhaps we can turn it into curtains after the wedding as a keepsake?" Narcissa suggested.

"Unicorn hair?" Hermione repeated holding up the layers of the skirt close to her face and scrutinizing it.

"I'll pay in advance," Narcissa said ignoring Hermione and following Emeralda out of the room.

"Unicorn hair…but…one strand is about a dozen gallons" Hermione exhaled.

* * *

After Malfoy's mother purchased the dress, and another fitting appointment in three weeks time was made, the two headed to a very long dinner. Luckily, food seemed to restore Narcissa and Hermione both to their calm selves, and it passed serenely with small talk.

Hermione finally returned to Hogwarts at seven that night. She was full of foods she had never desired to taste before, at Narcissa's insistence, but generally happy.

There had been a slight altercation between her and her future mother in law about the purchasing of the dress. Narcissa won, and so the dress went onto the Malfoy banking account. Narcissa later said it was only fair, considering Hermione's parents would be gifting the newlywed house. Hermione was certain the dress cost more than the house.

The wedding itself was less than a month away, right after school exams. Most of the weddings arranged by the ministry were within this time period, with the exception of Harry and Ginny who were waiting until September. Lucky for them, they could choose whenever. Hermione pushed open the large front doors and entered the foyer.

Had she even managed to complete the ministry task? She wouldn't even know until they sent her the owl. Somehow, she doubted it. Today had just been too simple to have been a test. And so she still had an unresolved issue to complete in three days.

"Oh, you're back" Malfoy said exiting the great hall. Surprisingly alone, and with impeccable timing.

"Yes"

"I only heard after you'd left from Weasley that my mother had sent the invite. Sorry, had you told me before, I may have been able to prep you. But astonishingly you have returned alive, I congratulate you" he grinned.

"Well out of order, that little comment. Don't talk about it so lightly; I could have easily died today. Had heart palpitations with every dress I tried on" Hermione replied in what she thought was a wry tone, but it likely came off more agitated.

"Darn, thought I might have it off easy. No luck I suppose"

"What do you want Malfoy?" Hermione sighed resignedly, "It's been a long day and I'd like to go drown myself in the bath if it's all right with you"

"Right, well, don't partake in suicide just yet. There's still time for that option. Rather, I was thinking we could go to Diagon Alley tomorrow" he suggested pushing his hands into his pant pockets nervously.

"Whatever for, do I look like I want to go?" Hermione asked.

"Well, you do though" Malfoy smirked.

"Well, I don't though"

"Well, you do though"

"No, I don't though" Hermione insisted, though she was incredibly curious about what Malfoy wanted in Diagon Alley.

"Right, we still have a lot of errands to run with regards to the wedding. We need to find a florist, and visit the bakery for a cake…"

"Can't your parents do it?" she asked, stupefied that they'd have to lift a finger at all with regards to the preparations.

"Well, if you want multicoloured bouquets of passiflora, and a cake in our likenesses it's my mother's specialty. But, I think it would be advisable that we complete these tasks ourselves" Malfoy shrugged.

Hermione looked him over dubiously; it was indeed strange that Malfoy would want to accomplish these chores, let alone with her, and he was being very unrelenting. Either, his mother had cornered him into it, or this could have been a ministry set-up.

"Right, I'll see you down here at eleven tomorrow" Hermione agreed, reluctant, but interested to see whether it proved to be an assignment.

"Brilliant, see you tomorrow" Malfoy agreed with a grin, then turned on his heel and walked away with a sudden bounce in his step.

Hermione's eyes widened incredulously watching him leave; was he happy? He looked happy. So why was he happy? What could possibly have made him so happy about all of this…a happy Malfoy, usually meant a miserable Hermione.


	9. The Start of Something

**Chapter Nine: The Start of Something**

**A/N:** I don't own Harry Potter. Pleez and thanx.

* * *

"Really now?" Ginny grinned, folding her nightdress in perfect angles.

"Really" Hermione insisted throwing her clean socks into her dresser drawer.

"And what are you going to be doing today then?"

"Well" Hermione began, opening the window beside her bed "I know for certain that we need to resolve the cake and flowers…I image invitations are also our duty"

"What about food?"

"That_, I imagine_, will be the job of the Malfoy house elves" Hermione said distastefully. Just yesterday she had argued with Malfoy's mother about house elves. Hermione refused to have one in her house, regardless of how nice a gift Narcissa thought it was.

Ginny nodded, and then she pursed her lips. "What?" Hermione asked looking at her skeptically, "Have it out now, what are you thinking?"

"You do realize…" Ginny sat down on her bed, and looked at Hermione rather seriously, "That this is a gigantic commercial for your union. I mean, the two of you walking around Diagon Alley, on the busiest day of the week…"

"So…"

"Well…it's a big step. It's acknowledging that you two are working together towards this marriage…"

"You think it could be the task!" Hermione said eagerly, sitting down by Ginny. "Is it possible that Malfoy knows it? And he's…"

They looked at each other excitedly.

"No…"

"Nah…"

* * *

Draco combed his hair carefully; he was at twenty-five strokes when Blaise thoughtlessly interrupted him.

"Mate! Where are you going so early?"

"Out" Draco replied, resuming the combing, but losing count.

"With your piece?" Blaise grinned salaciously.

"Yes"

"So, what do you and Mrs. Malfoy have planned for today?" he asked throwing himself down on Draco's impeccably made bed. Draco winced.

"We have errands to run"

"Oh, I see…_errands_"

"Yes"

"So you're going to make the pube sandwich, have a slap and tickle?" Blaise asked composedly, looking at his nails. Knowing perfectly how annoying he was, and how riled up Draco was becoming.

"Could you possibly be any more vulgar?" Draco asked in exasperation, throwing his comb at Blaise, "Not like I would share that information with you in any case"

"I'm your best mate, of course you'd tell me," Blaise laughed picking up the comb, which had landed a meter away from its target.

He had him on this point. Considering Draco had shared everything with Blaise thus far, it seemed most likely that he would continue to share everything he learned. "Well, never mind it. Our copulation is besides the point"

"It isn't though really…" Blaise frowned, sobering up.

Draco frowned as well. It wasn't. He had no idea how he was going to complete this task today. Either he failed to complete it, and so he died, or he would die trying at Grangers hands. He sighed and looked at Blaise, "Any ideas for today?"

"Sure, many. But if you're asking for ideas that pertain to your specific situation and Granger…no" Blaise grinned, reveling in Draco's anguish.

* * *

Hermione stood outside the main doors, her denim jacket clutched in her folded hands, and her eyes fixed on the Whomping Willow, which was attempting to kill a flock of birds with its snapping branches. She shifted her weight from one foot to the other and looked at her watch. He wasn't late…yet.

It was a beautiful spring day today, almost too lovely to be wasted on Malfoy. The weather was pleasant; all the trees were in full blossom, their white and pink flowers swaying with the breeze. Hermione was spaced out, and she knew, but it felt nice to not really be in reality. She hated the idea of having to come back to earth, where all of the problems were awaiting her. The breeze grew stronger, flapping the fabric of her dress around her legs.

"Granger"

Oh great, he was here.

"Granger? Are you brain dead? I'm sure there's some kind of loophole about that…"

"What?" Hermione said turning to look at him. She puckered her lips, holding back her laugh. He was dressed in muggle clothing, and it was bizarre. She looked him up and down. He was dressed normally enough, but the absurdity of seeing him in muggle clothes was just too great. He didn't seem nearly as impressive or daunting in his jeans and polo shirt, but looked like a regular boy. He didn't even look like a troublemaker.

"What?" he echoed.

"Nothing" Hermione smiled "Let's go then".

They walked in silence to the school gate, Malfoy as particularly silent. Hermione kept shooting him glances from the side, he looked very nervous to her. Perhaps Ginny was right this morning, maybe this task was all his. He didn't turn to look at her once, his hands were stuffed deep into his pant pockets, and his lips kept moving, as though he was talking to himself.

"Well then, what are we doing today?" Hermione asked, unable to bear the silence.

"We need to choose a cake, pick invitations, and then decide who's coming, as well as figuring out the flowers. Mother sent me a list of acceptable choices" he listed off, his eyes still fixed straight ahead.

"Your mother sent you a list of what we're allowed to pick from?" Hermione asked incredulously.

"Hmmm"

"Malfoy?"

He didn't reply. Hermione stopped walking, he kept on going. "_Draco_?" she called melodiously. He gave no indication that he heard her, nor that he'd noticed she wasn't next to him. Hermione was frustrated, she hated being ignored. It was one of her greatest pet peeves. "OOPS! My skirt flew up over my head!" He didn't even flinch.

Hermione exhaled angrily and stomped off after him. What was his problem today? She didn't like the look of this at all. He stopped outside the gate, and waited. Hermione smirked to herself; she rushed up behind him, pressing herself against his back. "Oh, sorry!" she cried "I just pushed my feminine body against you, and it was sooo wonderful".

"It's alright" he replied coolly.

Hermione blanched. He was sick, he must have been seriously ill. What illness could have caused this lethargy? Was it cancer? Did wizards get cancer? "Let's go" he sighed taking her hand.

"Ugh" Hermione groaned as her feet hit the cobbled street. She hated going side-along.

"Let's get this all done quickly, and then we'll be laughing" Malfoy said finally looking down at her. Hermione glared back furiously.

"Fine, where first?"

"We have an appointment in five minutes at _Flora's Fantastic Flora_" he said looking at his watch. Hermione tried to suppress her laugh, the alliteration in Diagon Alley was always so extreme. Malfoy began to walk down the street, and Hermione followed. As they passed _Obscurus Books_, Hermione made a mental note to stop by later to see if her book had arrived.

Diagon Alley was busy with shoppers today. And on this warm day all of the bright umbrellas in front of the restaurants and cafes were wide open, shielding customers from the blaring sun. Street peddlers yelled at the people walking past, some girl pushed a large pamphlet on cauldron cleaners into Hermione's hand. They weaved through the throngs of people. Hermione occasionally losing sight of Malfoy before his blonde head reappeared. She could see the shop before they reached it. It was covered in seasonal flowers. During the winter, no such flowers grew on the building.

Malfoy opened the door and Hermione walked in, her surprise at his gentleness late coming. "Mornin', croeso!" called Flora in a heavy Welsh accent from behind the counter where she appeared to be working on an extravagant arrangement. "Thrilled, I am, to be workin' on the flow's for yer wedding Mr. and Missus Malfoy" she grinned walking to them and shaking their hands. Flora, was covered in flowers, from her hair to her feet.

"Any idea's fer what uv want?" she asked excitedly, looking directly at Hermione, and wasting no time.

"Yes, I think" Hermione replied awkwardly.

"Da iawan!" she exclaimed clapping her hands. Hermione assumed this was good and not some cry of disgusted shock. Malfoy said nothing to next to her; he was looking around the shop with mild curiosity. But she knew he was going to be of little help today.

"U-uh" Hermione stuttered looking to Malfoy for help, but he had walked away, and was looking at some animated flowers. "I like hydrangeas" Hermione offered. She thought she saw Malfoy twitch in the corner, but he said nothing. If he wasn't going to help, it was going to be Hermione's way or no way.

Flora walked away without word, probably going to grab samples, or a picture book. "Malfoy!" Hermione hissed as she walked away "What is your problem? Be a little more helpful" she demanded.

"Hmm" he replied absentmindedly.

Hermione sighed and walked over the counter, looking at the price lists. One bouquet from this shop ran around thirty gallons, she couldn't even imagine how much the final price would be. Flora came back with a large bound book, full of pictures, as well as some ribbon and fabric. They carefully chose the flowers, the additional greens, ribbon for the bouquets, and for the corsages. Flora gave Hermione an approximation of a two weeks before all of the flowers could arrive, and that it would take her an additional week with her staff create all of the arrangements. Hermione had to return within that week to make sure that the flowers were to her expectation, another appointment on her long list. But they were done, and without any devastating setbacks.

"Hwyl am rwan!" Flora called after them as Hermione walked out with Malfoy trailing behind.

"You bloody idiot!" Hermione snapped, the moment the door closed behind them, smacking him with the bouquet of hydrangeas she had been gifted. "What is wrong with you today? Are you ill? Do you really have no comment? What are you doing?"

"I'm sorry, what?" he asked looking at her with a raised brow "What is it exactly that I'm doing?"

Hermione stuttered, astounded at his reaction, "You're doing nothing. That is the issue. You won't talk to me, you won't be helpful, and you just stand there silently!"

He looked at her blankly, as though he wasn't aware of what he was doing. "Hmm" he sighed, "Let's go to the cake shop"

Malfoy began to walk away, Hermione wailed in agitation. She was going to have a fit in the middle of Diagon Alley, she was two second away from stomping her foot. Why was he being so difficult today? She would have done anything at this moment to have him revert back to the overconfident ponce he usually was. At least he was more effective then. She followed him bitterly.

* * *

They were sitting across from each other at the small café by the owl emporium. Hermione had her arms crossed over her chest and was slouched in her chair. She was glaring had enough to burn a hole through Malfoy's head, but he paid no mind. He was _sipping his late _and watching the people on the street, blatantly ignoring her. Hermione just couldn't figure him out. At the cake shop he had once again stood by the door while Hermione had to make all the difficult decisions, and then only came over when it was time to pay.

Was he beginning to feel worried about the wedding? Was he finally realizing how miserable he was going to be with Hermione? Was this Malfoy depressed? It saddened her to think this was the cause. If this was how Malfoy really felt about what was going to happen, if all of his pep-talk, positive, we can do attitude was a farce…then Hermione didn't think she could handle this marriage either. She had just begun to accept that this was going to be her life, and not only that, but…also that it may not be such a horrible life. Malfoy wasn't the love of her life, but she was suspecting she could grow to love him as a partner and friend, to make it easier on them both. If this was the way he was going to be from now on…that was, if they even completed these ridiculous tasks set to them.

Was it the next task that was causing him to be so lackluster? Hermione wondered if he knew what it was, and if it was so impossible that he had given up. What could it be? Sex? It seemed unlikely this early on…so why wouldn't he tell her? She sighed deeply and sunk even lower into her chair. It was hopeless.

"Draco?" she said softly leaning across the table, suddenly inspired. He looked shocked for a slight second, but his face fell back into a frown. "Is something wrong? You can tell me. You should tell me" Hermione amended trying to draw out the information using her only advantage; female charm. As cold as Malfoy may have acted, no man could resist a well played female concern. She widened her eyes and opened her mouth slightly. He gaped back at her.

"I…it's nothing" he said with a rotten smile.

It didn't seem like nothing to Hermione. She picked up her coffee and began to drink, trying to take her mind off his issues. If she didn't know what was wrong, then she obviously couldn't help him. After this they only had invitations left, hopefully they could get through it and go back to Hogwarts. Hermione was too upset and frustrated to be around him anymore. She felt nears tears. For some reason, beyond her great intelligence, she felt he was being this way because of her. As though she had directly caused him to be so depressed, and that thought depressed her just as much. How horrible was she if she could dishearten Malfoy.

"Should we go?" he asked standing.

Hermione swallowed back her tears and stood. He dropped five gallons on the table and walked back out onto the street. She followed him, dragging her feet. She had been following too much today.

The scriptmasters shop was very small, and narrow. He carried assortments of specialty quills, parchments, and envelopes, as well as some very intricate stamps.

"Hello, how are you today?" a young man greeted as they entered.

"Well" Hermione replied, though she was aware she didn't sound 'well'.

"You have an appointment?" he asked.

"Yes, Malfoy" Hermione replied, hissing the name.

"Ah…yes" he looked up and grinned at Hermione nervously, "would you like to look at some samples, or did you want to go ahead and chose a parchment?"

"I'll just pick one" she replied tiredly, unable to match the enthusiasm of the young man. Hermione looked around the shop, there were many parchments to choose from, she didn't even have the slightest idea of how it should look, but at this point she was beyond caring. "That one" she said, pointing at a plain cream satin finish. The young man at the counter looked shocked by her quick decision.

"Script?" he asked politely, pulling down the parchment roll from the wall.

"Whichever cursive is perfectly fine" Hermione replied. "Matching envelopes too…pastel blue and white ribbon for the envelopes, here…" she said reaching into her bag and pulling out a piece of paper "is what it should say, we'll handwrite the names of people invited. Please make five hundred pieces"

"Uh…"

"Here's the deposit" Malfoy said handing over a bag of money.

The store keeper looked absolutely shocked, "Alright, I will get in touch with you soon, and send you a sample invitation, to see if you like your choice"

"Perfect" Hermione said, "Have a nice day" she turned on her heel and practically ran out the door. She was done with today. Malfoy followed her out. "Let's go back" Hermione said.

"Already?" he asked slightly surprised, or was he worried, but then said "If you want" and began walking towards the bank.

"Stupid arse" she muttered after him. He just kept walking away. "OI!" she yelled angrily "Are you listening to me?" People turned to look at her. "Malfoy! Stop!" he didn't.

She rushed after him, prepared to curse him to bits. "Stop!" she cried grabbing his hand. He turned and looked at her, or just past the top of her head.

Hermione made up her mind in a split second. It was a last resort she had been considering today. Hermione wasn't sure it would work in the least, but she could hope for a little reaction if nothing else. She threw her arms around his neck and kissed him. After five seconds she realized he hadn't moved in the slightest. Not to throw her off in disgust, nor to feel her up. Hermione dropped her arms and pulled back. She waited for a response, but he said nothing, his expression was of mild shock, but he didn't look astounded. Hermione had had it. She began to cry. Loudly.

And now she realized just how many people were watching their scene. Out of shame she began to cry harder, unable to calm herself. Malfoy just stood there in front of her, blank faced and open mouthed.

"Oh dear" someone whispered from beside her "poor girl".

Hermione wailed on. Not only had she kissed him, he had openly rejected her in front of everyone on Diagon Alley. She would kill herself over this; she would go back to Hogwarts and jump off the astronomy tower. It had been a stupid idea anyway; she had been better off cursing him.

"Stop crying, it's gaudy"

Hermione looked up. Malfoy was standing over her and finally looking at her, eye to eye. He seemed nervous, but aware of what was occurring, "You're making a very ugly scene"

But Hermione couldn't stop crying, the tears just kept coming. All of the resentment she had built up was finally exploding out. If she could fish her wand out of her purse she would blast him into a million bloody pieces all over the street. He sighed tiredly and grabbed her, pulling her towards him. "I don't want a hug!" she cried pushing him away in annoyance.

"Oh come on," he muttered leading her away from the crowd.

"Y-you're such a bloody idiot. Y-you have n-no feeling whatsoever f-f-for me and my s-situation. I c-can't stand you" Hermione hiccupped as he walked her down the street and away. "Well, at least we completed the mission, surprise!" he muttered. Hermione gasped as she felt the tug of apparition, he had left without warning.

* * *

Hermione landed on her behind, the skirt of her dress wrapped and warped around her waist, but she didn't care. She stood quickly and began walking away from him, trying to straighten her dress.

"Granger" he called tiredly, following her closely.

"Go drown in the lake!" Hermione yelled back acrimoniously, finally realizing what he had said to her.

"Would you wait, I need to explain!"

"Explain what?" she yelled venomously "How you treated me today? How you used me, and didn't tell me about the mission? I don't care!"

"It seems to me like you do care, otherwise you wouldn't be acting so impossible"

Hermione turned and marched back to him, dropping her jacket and bag on the ground. He must have not seen her coming, because he didn't protect himself. Hermione mustered all the strength she had in her arm and slapped him across the face, again. His head whipped around in a satisfying way. She smiled cruelly.

He looked at her in shock, his nose was bleeding. Even better.

"You…hit me!" he cried wiping blood from his face with the back of his hand.

"I…kissed you" Hermione said coldly, "Trying to get a reaction, any reaction from you today…and you…ooooh" she turned and picked up her bag, searching for her wand.

"Granger, listen…I couldn't-"

"-WHAT! YOU COULDN'T WHAT" she shrieked.

"I'm sorry" he muttered.

"I'm so stupid" Hermione replied shaking her head and looking away "I was actually worried about you, and you were just acting to get a rise out of me"

"Look, I'm really sorry. But…I didn't know what else to do. Besides I know you, you would never had agreed to the mission anyway-"

"But you wouldn't tell me" she said sadly "How could we ever live together, or even have children together…if you don't at least talk to me…"

"I couldn't"

"You could"

"No…I couldn't"

"What, was it one of the ministry appointed missions? Did they tell you to not talk to me about it? What kind of idiocy would that be? How could they give you a task to keep a secret from me? Just how does that promote matrimonial unity?" she asked skeptically.

He knew she was right. It didn't. The owl hadn't told him not to share the contents of the mission with Granger explicitly. But he thought it was strange at all that he had even received the mission alone, he thought it was for him alone. There was more to it than what the letter had said. And now he was beginning to think he'd failed.

"What exactly did it say?" she asked coldly.

He wiped off the blood running across his mouth, "It said that I had to conceive of a way to make you show affection towards me in public"

"Well, you succeeded" she whispered. Granger looked exhausted, upset, and very sad. He knew he'd done wrong on this one. The whole thing had gone to pot. "So what now?"

He frowned, not understanding.

"I mean, where does this leave us? You passed the mission, but I don't like you too much right now. In fact, I'm pretty sure I'd rather take whatever horrible punishment the ministry inflicts on me than be in your presence. If you'd just told me about this we could have easily thought of a way to complete the mission. Compared to everything we've had to do before, this could have been so simple. What, a kiss? Holding hands?"

Draco didn't know she felt that way. "I'm really sorry. I'm sorry I acted so ridiculous today, I'm sorry you kissed me, I'm sorry-"

"It's amazing how mean you can be" Granger smiled sourly, "You're sorry I kissed you? Merlin you're an idiot, but I'm worse"

"Come on Granger, don't talk that way, it's all past" he said approaching her.

"I don't want to talk about it anymore" she said softly, "I'm leaving now. Please wait five minutes before you follow me. Otherwise, I will curse you. "

He watched her turn around and begin the walk up to the castle. Draco felt like a fool for not realizing the real mission between the lines. It seemed obvious to him now that the correct answer would have been to discuss the task with Granger and decide together how to complete it. Not to keep secrets from each other. When she had explained it to him, it seemed so clear. Now because of his actions, they'd taken ten steps back.

All day, she been asking for a little attention, but he'd been too preoccupied to see that, too involved in his plan to annoy her into action. If he'd been more level headed it might have turned out better, rather than how he acted. And he realized Granger had done all of the hard work with the arrangements today, he'd been no help at all. He was beginning to wonder if she'd ever speak to him again, and what he needed to do to make it right.

Draco sighed and began to follow her up towards the castle. He needed to start groveling, and he needed advice from Weasley and Potter.


	10. Which Way He'd Blow

**Chapter Ten: Which Way He'd Blow**

**A/N:** I don't own Harry Potter.

* * *

"Oi ginger, get back in the biscuit tin" Draco grunted pointing angrily at Weasley.

"I'd shove my foot up your arse for that, but I'm afraid you'd enjoy it!" Weasley retorted leaning across the table, as menacingly as he could with his ape face.

"Oh come on, I could never take your virginity like that. We haven't even snogged"

Weasley's face had turned the same colour as his hair, and he was now babbling, unable to retort properly in all his anger.

"Okay, I get the point" Potter sighed scratching his head and removing his glasses, "Can we lay off the quips just for the next little while. I have a thirty-inch paper due tomorrow, and I'd like to finish this _discussion_ quickly. Preferably before Hermione goes to bed, because I desperately need help"

Draco and Weasley both leaned back, arms crossed. Draco was not pleased, he was so far beyond not pleased that he was tempted to reach into his bag and grab his wand. He had civilly asked Potter to show up, not Weasley. But the weasel just couldn't let Potter go off on his own without tailing him like some pathetic groupie. "Why did you bring _him_ Potter?" Draco hissed.

"I didn't _bring_ him, he came" Potter replied resignedly, "he thought he'd be useful"

"I _am_ useful" Weasley said with a smug grin.

"Oh yes? Well then, shock me and say something intelligent"

"I've peeved Hermione enough times that I have the act of groveling perfected"

"Weasley, don't brag about that. Even Eloise won't sleep with you if you say things like that" Draco smirked.

"Besides the point Ron, I don't think the groveling helped you. I think Hermione forgave you out of the altruistic goodness in her heart" Potter amended, "She finds it too tiresome to be angry at you, since you don't seem to understand the point she's making anyway"

"Well, what do you think then Potter?"

"I think a present might be the right way to start and at least soften the blow…then a personal apology…if she lets you get that far…you can then kiss the ground she's walking on"

"Are you joking?"

"No, dead serious" Potter frowned, "It won't be easy. It's Hermione; you can't just buy her a diamond bracelet and call it off. You need to make a total fool of yourself to appease her"

"And you're not just saying this to see me make a total fool of myself?"

"Yes" Weasley grinned.

"No" Potter retorted, "Besides, I've seen enough of that to last me a lifetime. And it's your predicament. I can tell you what to do, but if you don't try, you'll never crawl out of this grave. Hermione will bury you long before that"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean that she's upset. But Hermione isn't done. It's not over"

"Oh Malfoy! You are in for it" Weasley chuckled, looking perfectly content.

"You mean, she'll try and get me back?"

"She needn't try" Potter grinned, despite himself, "She can make you suffer without even lifting a finger. Hermione despite her pretense is still a girl; therefore she's born with an operations manual for the suffering of all men engrained in her. It's amazing what they can make you feel with nothing but a few words. She'll go out of her way to crush you. You need to get her forgiveness before it escalates"

"You mean, before she acquires a taste for it?" Draco asked worriedly.

"Brilliant!" Weasley sighed contently.

"Oh shut it!" Draco snarled.

"What a quandary you seem to be embroiled in"

"This is nothing compared to your concerns. I may not be completely arse over kettle about Granger, but she's better than your old maid. You are just infuriatingly gormless" he retorted. Draco could feel himself grow warm with agitation. If Weasley uttered another word, he would be lying on the floor in a pool of his own blood by the time Draco left the room.

"Can't you two just…stop?" Potter groaned.

"Sure. I'm sure it'll quiet down once Weasley's no longer breathing"

Across the table, Weasley no longer looked smug.

* * *

"I can't do this!"

"Oh come off it!" Ginny scowled; throwing herself down on the bed. She picked up the latest edition of the Tattler, and began reading it back to front.

"Ginny, he humiliated me, in public…I look like an idiot now! I swear my finger and toes curled yesterday. I thought I would die of shame," Hermione wailed snapping the quill in her hand and spraying ink all over the table. She threw it away angrily and picked up a new one, dipping it in ink.

"Well, you have two options here. Either you ignore it, or you get him back, rightly. But I don't think either will make you exceptionally happy. You just need time to get over this whole thing. It's not worth going mental over. Harry does things like that to me all of the time, he's just another unaware berk like Malfoy. You are giving your fiancé too much credit. He's not vindictive, he never has been. Women often mistake men's stupidity with cruelty"

"So you think I should just forgive him for this?" Hermione asked incredulously, splatting ink on her paper.

"Yes" Ginny smiled, "But you needn't let him know he's forgiven, not right away in any case"

* * *

Draco stood on the stairs leading towards the Gryffindor common room holding the wrapped book in his hands. He couldn't do it. What if it didn't work? What if she humiliated him in front of everyone? What if the gift wasn't good enough? He moved to take another step, but didn't manage it. Looking behind him he wondered if he should just wait a little longer, give Granger a bit more time to cool down. Perhaps he was running into a fire that would consume him alive. Could she do that? Would she? Maybe he'd receive more than a verbal scolding.

A couple of first years walked past him on the stairs, staring wide eyed at his unnatural stance on the step. "What?" he hissed at them. They quickly ran away up the stairs and around the corner, whispering nastily.

Draco ran a hand through his hair and took a deep breath. This was just another thing he'd have to do from now on. He was well aware of the groveling his father often did under his mother's glower. A strong and feared man by all others, reduced to a pathetic beggar by his wife. He saw much of his mother in Granger; proud and fearless and set in her ways. It wasn't going to be an easy life. But it had worked for someone else. All these years, his parent's relationship functioned in this peculiar conduct. His father putting on a show, while his mother pulling the reigns. And to Draco, it never seemed that his father regretted or detested it, just accepted it. He wasn't sure he wanted the same for himself, but was it his choice? The more he looked around, the more it seemed this way. Potter was under Ginerva's thumb, and he didn't seem to notice either way. Blaise was finding himself coming to terms with his own situation. Perhaps this was give in, or get gone.

He continued up the stairs.

Ginerva's face appeared as the portrait swung away to reveal the hole that led to their common room. "Oh, hello you" she smiled tightly, trying to not grin. She was enjoying this scenario, which meant Granger had told people.

"Hello. Is…_Hermione_ there?" he said clearing his throat; her smile made him nervous.

"Of course she is. Is that the answer you want? If you'd rather, I can say no, and you can walk away thinking you tried and get a bit more time to collect yourself" she suggested sweetly.

"That's fine, but I think I'd rather get this over with. Instantaneously" he grinned sheepishly.

"Is that a gift? You'd better hope she hasn't read that one" Ginerva said curiously, looking at the wrapped parcel in his hands.

"She wouldn't have" he replied awkwardly, "It hasn't been released yet. It's a draft…"

"Pulled some strings eh? You prat"

Draco looked past her into the common room, it was empty but for a student he didn't recognize in a corner reading. "Can I come in…or can you convince her to come down?"

"I'd rather not be witness to the scene. I'll have her out in a moment" Ginerva promised, and the picture swung back shut. The fat lady stared at him curiously, he backed away shamefacedly.

His palms were wet, and he could feel the sweat run from the back of his neck downward as a draft blew. It was extraordinary to be bothered by what was going to occur. But here he was, in a state of panic over Granger's immanent arrival. He didn't want her to hate him.

And there it was.

He did not want Granger to hate him.

For more than practical reasons, but for emotional, personal, extraordinarily alarming reasons, he wanted her to like him.

The portrait swung back open, and she crawled out of the hole.

His tongue swelled inside of his mouth. She was still in her robes, her hair pulled back into a bun, and she looked cross. Granger had her arms folded across her chest and her right eyebrow was dangerously close to her hairline. Like a ticking time bomb.

It was all becoming sixes and sevens at a distressing speed. The universe was about to implode and all he had to do was just say something, anything. Well then?

"Here!" he said thrusting the book towards her.

She glanced at it inquisitively, but made no move to reach for it. "What is it? _Your homework_? There are simpler ways to request death you know. I can't believe you have the gall to show your face to me right now"

"A gift. It's a gift" he muttered, extending the book towards her again.

Her lips pursed in annoyance. One hip swung to the side, and she began to tap her foot. "Are you being shirty with me? Did you not hear me?"

"Will you just take it!" he exclaimed anxiously.

"Why should I? If I accept your gift, you think that means you've been forgiven for your idiocy? You must be mental. I'm not going to let you off so easily"

"Mental isn't all that shocking seeing as you're my bride-to-be" he muttered testily.

Granger's eyes widened angrily.

"I'm just having a lark. Ha ha. Now take the gift please! I'm going to have a nervous attack because of you"

She snatched the book out of his hands and advanced on him. Draco tried to remain where he was and not cower away like his instincts screamed. Granger leaned towards him, she was so close he could see her freckles; he could count the pores on her nose, too close for comfort. Was she was going to attack him, maybe bite him? Not the face!

"Thanks" she said coolly, and then turned away. Without another word Granger sauntered back into the common room, the wrapped parcel under her arm. Draco exhaled as the portrait entrance closed completely, and the Fat Lady smiled. Well, he'd survived. And that was a success of sorts.

* * *

"Blimey" Ginny whispered turning the manuscript over in her hands. "This is the new Olga Raffinstied novel, _Haggis, Hags, and the Horror. _How did he get his hands on this?"

"Who cares?"

"Are you going to read it?"

Hermione glared at her friend "No"

"I thought you liked this series?" Ginny asked inquiringly.

"I do, it's a matter of principle though"

"Are you sure? You seem to be doing a lot on principle. Not saying much, but perhaps your principles aren't straight"

Hermione made no reply. Ginny continued on, unperturbed.

"You aren't even a little curious about the book? I mean, a gift is a gift, it doesn't imply you have to give anything in return. And it's not like he'll know you read it" she coerced.

"Yes, but I'll know" Hermione insisted gritting her teeth. Ginny was goading her, and she well knew it.

"Can I have it then?"

"Fine"

Ginny slid off the bed holding to the book tightly, "I'm going downstairs to get on this. Good luck with your paper"

The paper was done, long ago. Hermione had simply been staring at it for the last hour, scratching out spelling mistakes she'd made, since she had no plan to rewrite this tonight. She was unable to wrap her head around the issue confronting her; she was beginning to lose her wits. Basically, Hermione was damned. There was no way she'd be able to complete her part of the mission. Much less be convincing about it.

Her true anxiety came from the owl, which had arrived this morning, carrying the specifics from Mrs. McKinnon about her task. Had she known yesterday, the whole ordeal with Malfoy wouldn't have been a problem.

_Dear Miss Granger, _

_Thank you for your concerned letter to our Ministry Services. We are always here to provide information and support to our clients. I apologize for not realizing that we at the office forgot to include the details of your task within our last owl._

Toss-pot. Of course you realized.

_Your task is solely to have Mr. Malfoy initiate a display of affection towards you. Of course, you may not use any magical means to convince him, or force him to do so. For this task you have until midnight tonight of May the 13__th__. Once midnight passes and it is the 14__th__ of the month, the task is over, and failure of success will be assessed. Again, if you have any concerns or questions, I am always to be of service. _

_Nancy McKinnon (Of the Marriage Law and Contract Law Department in the Ministry of Magic)_

_P.S. Please note that Mr. Malfoy is not to be aware of your personal task. If you should tell him of the contents, you forfeit and automatically fail._

At my service; four days after the fact. Hermione was at a loss. She had just less than six hours to complete this task, and not a clue how to go about it. The vindictive angry part of her didn't even want to bother. She was still upset with Malfoy, and she didn't exactly want to be in his company, nor he in hers likely. So how was she supposed to make him show affection towards her? Especially after the show earlier. Bollocked.

* * *

"Mione? Are you listening? I asked if the ferret gave you a gift."

"Yes" Hermione whispered to her soup. It rippled in her bowl, and continued to steam.

"Are you unhappy?" Ron pestered, sounding too cheerful for Hermione's ears.

"Yes, I'm unhappy…" she admitted noticing a large chunk of squash under the still surface.

"About what?"

"About you"

"Me?"

"Yes, imperceptive people make me miserable" Hermione snapped, throwing her spoon across the table. "Stop asking questions!"

"Blimey, can't get a word out around you. You're absolutely mental!" he retorted indignantly, growing red in the face.

"I don't know why you care? What does this have to do with you? I'm sure your relationship is gold compared to mine, but do you have to make the fact known consistently? Can't you just piss off?" she cried furiously.

"Mate, just drop it" Harry insisted, glaring at Ron.

"You have it well bad Mione" Ron concluded slyly.

"Turd" Hermione muttered under her breath.

She wanted to cry into her soup. What was she supposed to do now? She couldn't even tell Malfoy. And after the fuss she'd made before about how he'd lied to her…now she had to lie to him. The task was explicit; he wasn't to know about her intentions. She really did have it well bad. Worse than anybody knew, and she couldn't tell anyone.

Worse still, she didn't have a single intelligent thought on how to convince Malfoy to show some affection towards her without actually having to convince him. And 'affection' was so vague. How affectionate? A hug, holding hands, a kiss…a sonnet? Hermione was seconds away from tearing her hair out. And not only did she have this ridiculous mission to complete. But it also had to be done in the next…five hours.

If she were anyone else, she may have been able to make a move on him, hoping he'd return the act. But she was Hermione Granger. And he was likely to think she was an imposter before he'd imagine her doing it purposely. So what, what to do?

"There goes the kettle to your pot" Ginny nudged, breaking Hermione's thoughts. Malfoy had walked into the great hall, followed by Zabini. He glanced at her nervously, but quickly looked away. Marvelous. "Maybe you should just cut him a break, he looks really upset" Ginny suggested.

Perhaps. Perhaps if she made like she was going to forgive him. Perhaps talked to him somewhere privately…he might be moved by relief to…not likely. Hermione sighed loudly causing the four friends around her to stare curiously in her direction. Doomed.


End file.
